warmth of your soul 2

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Thinking all this it became night and currently I am in living room trying to Sketch few designs for the new upcoming project but a cute little munchkin pulled me from my thoughts and I looked down and saw that it's abhi. I immediately smiled but I remembered that I am still mad on him cuz of morning incident and that brat still didn't come to me since morning must enjoyed with his chachu and forgot his chachi.

I looked away from him and pretended to do my work. He again pulled my sleeve and I again looked at him and raised my eye brow asking him'what'. He raised his hands indicating to pick him up. I sighed and picked him up and made him sit on my lap.

" Chachi, I am sowwieee" he said cutely holding his ears and pouting with his puppy eyes. I almost melted there and forgave him but thought to play with him little. I shook my head in no indicating that I am still mad and tried to continue my work.

Key word: trying

Cuz this cutiee isn't letting to do my work. He streched his small hand around my neck and turned my face towards him. I looked at him shocked and he kissed me on my cheek and put his lips there more than the required time just like I do with his cheek everytime. A wide smile unknowingly spread on my face seeing his fettle attempt to make me smile.

"Plss I am sowwieee.... You're my beauty naa.. my favvyyy" he said still pouting and showing his puppy dog eyes which noone can resist neither mee too. Well! Beauty and favvy are his shortforms of beautiful and favourite since he can't yet pronounce them he gave these shortforms to it. I sighed at smiled widely and kissed him on the cheek just like the way he did to me a while ago.

" If this cutiee munchkin says sorry in this adorable way then how can his Chachi be mad at him. I forgave you long back.. my baby.. I love you so so much that it's hard to be mad at you" I said smiling at him and he too smiled widely and spread his arms around my neck trying to hug me. I laughed at him and hugged him tightly kissing his head. He's my safe heaven keeping me happy in my stressful and nightmare life. I sighed at him and took his palms and kissed them. The thing I do whenever I feel that he is only one who loves me that's not certainly true but it's what it is

"Chachi lovess you babyyy" I said to him cutely and he laughed and said " baby loobbss chachii tooo" "how much" I asked raising a eye brow. He spread his hands as wide as possible and said " this much and much more than that". My heart really melted right than and there. It still feels like the first time he is speaking and telling me I love you.

We both completely immersed in our own world talking about everything and anything and me listening to all his gibberish with most attention that I didn't notice that a pair of eyes are looking at us. A throat clear sound brought me back to reality and I looked to see who it was and it is siddu.

What does he want now. Morning he was so rude and cold. I neglected him but
"Are you a fashion designer??" He asked. I looked around and there is noone except us. "Are you asking me??" I asked a bit hesitantly. "Is there anyone here except us?" He asked. I shook my head in no "then, ofcourse I am asking only you." He completed rather too rudely. I was hurt a little bit. I am not used to his rude and cold tone yet and frowned but nonetheless nodded my head. "Well, I am the head of fashion designing department in our company" I told him.
"Our company as in Nigam empire?" He asked looking at me intently. I again felt self-conscious. Before I never was self-conscious around him I used to be more of myself but now I am always self-conscious rather it was him who is making me self-conscious. I nodded my head confusingly as if why was it such hard for him to believe it.

"Are you truly there because of your talent or--" I cut him of rudely cuz I basically understood that he thought I came to this position by using relations and all.
"Look, Mr. Nigam I am may be your sister's in law, sister but in professional way I love my career and now I am in this position cuz of my talent and hardwork. Everyone in the company know about me especially your sister in law because she was the head before me and she choosed me next to be the head and it's not solely her decision only it's the total department's decision and I know who I am and how much capable and accountable. I would never go for a recommendation. I would rather prefer to die than being dishonest. Trust and honesty is what I live and work for" I stated to him keeping my voice as cold as possible and I choosed to call him Mr. Nigam as I thought it will be only good cuz I definitely can't call him siddu and I don't want him to think that I am being too clingy and all. It's better if I behave with him professionally.

A look of guilt crossed his eyes but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. He's an expert in hiding his emotions and keeping his emotions in check. I don't know about his this cold and void of emotion face in the past but right now it feels like I am meeting a all new person.

Before he could speak anything again. I took abhi in my arms and started walking towards the dining room as it's already dinner time.

I made abhi sit on his chair and took food make him eat. "Baby, Chachi will feed you today jus-" I was cut off by his childish voice "just like everyday" . I nodded my head. "My munchkin is becoming so smart nowadays" I said keeping a morsel in his mouth. "Ofcourse, after all he is my nephew. He will be smart and intelligent. " I turned to see who said that and saw it is siddu along with dada and didu. I shook my head in disbelief. This guy is so self obsessed and self centred.

"Haina? Champ" he said looking at abhi. "Yes, chachu just like you" he said eating. They all sat on the dinning table and started eating. After sometime I made abhi eat completely and washed his mouth and picked him up to take him to his room for sleep.

"Avu, you didn't eat anything from morning. Atleast eat dinner " didu said looking at me concerned. I shook my head in no. " I am fine. I don't want to eat anything. " I picked abhi up and started leaving. " Avi, atleast have juice or milk bacha. You can't sleep empty stomach. " Dada requested but before I can reply someone replied " dada, who are you for requesting her.. if she doesn't wants to eat then let it be. She will only be hungry. Why do you care about her so much" siddu said coldly staring at me. I looked down. I don't know why it's just doesn't feel good to look in to his eyes when they are nothing but cold and void cuz his eyes are most expressive when we were together. His eyes used to resemble always love and care for me.

"Sid, you may don't know her. She is more than a sister to me and I care for her that's cuz she is being through alot and if she is fine also I will care for her cuz she is my baby sister." Dada said sternly and my eyes filled with tears listening to him that I am his baby sister. I may made a sin for not getting love but I am so blessed to have them. I am indeed lucky. I looked towards siddu and he looked shocked. I immediately closed my eyes controlling my tears and went towards dada and hugged him. He hugged me back and patted my back may be knowing my situation. He kissed my head and kissed abhi's cheek cuz he is also there in the hug.

"Thanks dada but I am fine. Good night" I said and took abhi and went towards his room. After telling him a story. He slept immediately and I went towards my room.

I sat on the study chair that placed near my bed with my diary.

I opened my diary and started writing...

You talked to me today siddu after a whole 1 and half year later. I still can't believe that you're alive and infront of me but I can't say to you how much I love you how much I need you in my life how happy I am to see you alive cuz you forgot who I am. You forgot what we are. Your brain don't remember me siddu. You heart doesn't craves for me like my heart craves for you. My heart beats for you siddu, my eyes searches for your eyes that always fills with warmth. The arms and hugs you give me which makes me feel that I am in safe heaven and as unbelievable as it sounds you are my home siddu. Your arms gives warmth to my soul and you now being so distant and so rude to me makes me feel like I have made a big crime where as the crime was made by God by breaking us apart. Trying to be happy by seeing me cry. I have kept faith till now in our love siddu, but though you are infront of me. I can't hug you and kiss you and I can't tell you how much I missed you still missing you. Life is so uncertain siddu, I was very happy with you and our family two years ago but now though I have our family and you I don't feel happy cuz may be I miss you as my siddu, may be I miss being in your arms, may be I miss getting caught by dada and di when we were making out or may be I am not dreaming about us anymore cuz we became a nightmare to me. Our memories started haunting me.

When will you love me like the way you did siddu?
Was our love so weak that even though I try to work it out, it's falling apart?!

Cuz in any relationship only one can't do anything. Efforts should be from both sides. There's an old saying that with only one hand we can't clap just like with one efforts a relationship can't stand.

I love you
I need you
I miss you
Siddu.

See you'll
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