warmth of your soul 2

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Hellooo siddu,
You aren't present here with me physically and yet I can feel your presence beside me in my heart. Call me crazy or mad idk but I feel you, I feel your face, I feel your smile that's only reserved for me, I feel the way your eyes spark whenever you look at me and the amount of immense immortal and infinite amount of love you show to me through your eyes and by your actions that it's just left me speechless everytime that why can't your mouth tells me all about it
You met with an accident siddu, it's been 3 days to that disastrous day. Dada and di were crying uncontrollably. Doctors said it was difficult for you to live but I had a belief, I had belief in you, in our love that you aren't going to leave me this soon.
And as my belief you came back alive but you slipped in to coma. It was awful for me to hear that news but I was somewhere happy that atleast you were alive. I didn't even shed a tear infront of dada and di because I don't want to stress them, they are already worried and so much stressed about you that they even forgot about abhinav. Poor him, came towards me because he was hungry and don't know what to do and whom to ask. That moment I realised that I should keep my pain to myself and I should live atleast for our abhinav. How much we loved him siddu, we both promised eachother to be there for him always but you weren't right now so it's my turn to be with him and I will be with him.
But now I want to cry siddu, to cry so loud and scream about you to come back or if not just take me with you but don't at all leave me alone siddu. You don't at all try to leave me alone.
Life gave me so many hurdles siddu, I faced all of them alone before I met you then we met and you told me that from now we will face all the hurdles life gives us together but how can you leave all this in the middle siddu. How can you??

There were stains of dried tears and smudged ink marks on the papers. Clearly telling him that she was crying while writing. Tears formed in his eyes reading the first page of her diary or her pain. Now he don't have the courage to read other pages of her diary but he couldn't stop himself from  turning the page and to read the next part of her life in the absence of him. He was determined to know everything and to do anything which makes her happy.

Pain, agony, helplessness these all were the emotions I felt before I met you siddu.
Pain for not getting my father's love
Agony for bearing my own sister's hate
And helplessness for not believing the harsh reality of my life
Until you came to my life it was all those but you came, we met, and love blossomed just like how a honey bee needs sunflower to nurture itself. Your love made me realise my true self and with you I became warrior ready to fight for the whole world but yet this warrior is ready to loose her battle for you just for you to come back and live with her. Will you come back for your this little warrior siddu? I am ready to fight my own battles, my own insecurities and hell I fought with my own father actually my sperm donar for you, because of you, to be with you. Can't you fight with God and come back to me
I love you
I miss you

Every page has the stains of dried tears. He can't believe that she cried everyday for him. Her prayers are so powerful and surely she was god's favourite that's because he saw her suffering, heard all her prayers and truly gave her what she desired for.

Today after reading the first few pages of the diary Siddharth understood one thing that was

Avneet doesn't want Siddharth
Avneet needs Siddharth
She needs her siddu
Just like a person needs oxygen to survive and it's about something above his imagination. He wasn't as perfect as her to pen down everything what he feels but he surely knows that while reading this he unknowingly is falling for her and yet he couldn't stop himself to not fall for her. The way how she wrote everything, every tear, every pain clearly indicated him how much she loves him. They both can't survive without eachother and may be that's why God gave her back what she needed, what she asked that is siddu
One word yet uncountable feelings and number of emotions.

Days are passing and just like that seasons too.. it's been 6 months that you are in coma siddu. Doctors are saying that they don't know when will you wake up. They are loosing hopes siddu, even dada and didu too. Everyone are loosing hope but I won't and I don't want to loose also. In these all months, mornings I used to be with you, talking to you, reminiscing all our memories and from afternoon I would go to the company and do all my work. I used to completely drowned myself in work and at night I would come back to house just because dada and di would be waiting for me for dinner. I don't want them to wait for me and I countless times told them not to but they just don't listen to me that makes me come to house a little sooner and then I come back to room our room. Without you atleast I am being in your room siddu. When you told me to shift in your room then I didn't think it was needed but now when I am being here in our room. I feel your presence, your smell and your clothes all of them tells me that you're there with me and you're living with me. It's getting hard for me to sleep nowadays siddu, I am getting nightmares again whenever I get them you would be with me to make me sleep again in your arms and whatever may be the time till I sleep again you just keep on caressing my hair and tells me so many things to make me forget my nightmare but now how should I tell you that what all I am getting these days were not nightmares siddu, they all were our memories, our moments which we will be cherishing life long. Atleast I will.
I love you
I miss you
Siddu

I am so so sorry siddu, I know I told you that I will never take sleeping pills again but I am not getting any sleep in your absence. I tried everything. I wore your shirt, your hoodie. I sprayed your cologne on the pillow to sleep but it's like if I close my eyes then my mind is only repeating all our moments. I am getting mad siddu. I don't know what to do. I am using concealers to hide my eyebags from dada and di. So today I decided to take a sleeping pill and sleep to push  away everything but look here I am,even after taking a sleeping pill woke up with a  nightmare. I am a failure siddu. Now I am realising that I can't live without you all I wanted to do this minute is just take a knife and cut my wrists.

Reading that line book slipped down from his hand. He immediately went and sat beside Avneet and kissed her forehead.

She didn't die. She didn't die. She is alive and she is fine.

He kept himself repeating all these lines in his mind. After reading those pages of her diary he knew in his absence she suffered alot. She went through so much and now he is determined to feel her loved again. Make her happy again all now he need to do is just love her and just to shower her with love.

He gonna heal her now again.

"I love you avi" "I will always love you baby"

With that he once again kissed her forehead pulled her in his arms and slept peacefully.

Lovelies,
So sorry for late update caught up with something
Just get yourself the one who loves you like avi loves her siddu
Get ready to witness some romance
Any office romance lovers here?!
Let me know in comments
See y'all