warmth of your soul 2

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The thing which I am scared off is what actually happened right now. From the time siddu woke up and from the time doctors told us to not remind him anything related to the past. The best thing I thought is to hide this matter from him but I didn't know that he will find everything this soon. Just my mere presence made his mind full of doubts in the first day itself.

I thought hiding things from him will be easy but though his mind forgot me his heart still knows me and loves me that's why he could able to see tears in my eyes in the first day and can read me like an open book though I am keeping the strong facade of I am strong and fine person infront of him.

Currently we all are in hospital after siddu fainted. We immediately rushed him to the hospital. Doctors are checking him. After sometime they came out and we all stood and went towards him.

" We told you that not to pressure his brain but you all didn't listen and told him something he forgot and he tried to remember that causing his brain to stress and resulting in head ache and thus he fainted. There's nothing serious as of now. He just unconscious now but be careful for the next time because everytime luck won't be on our side." Doctor informed us and went away.

I slipped down to the ground. Dada immediately rushed towards my side.

"Avu, what happened?" He asked.
"Seriously dada?! You asking me what happened knowing that your brother was about to go back to coma again..? The main reason why we all thought to hide things or rather than we all were acting as siddu told was because of this only. We all knew before hand how much this affects him but you still told him. Why dada? Why? " I asked him controlling my tears.

"That's because he need to know Avneet, he need to know the truth, the reality of his life where a person was and is still crying for him. Noone can love someone the way you are loving Siddharth, Avneet. but when life gives you a situation on choosing your love or you. Without a second thought you would be doing anything for your love i.e Siddharth, your siddu. Previously you were about to die to let him live safely but then you didn't realise that he will live but not happily then you realised and started fighting with yourself and for him knowing his happiness lies within you and you can live happily only with him.
Now, life gave you another challenge. You need to fight again. Stop being scared." Dada said.

I chuckled with my eyes full of tears and sobbing uncontrollably.

"The thing is, dada. I am not scared. I am tired." I said sighing heavily. I took a deep breath trying to control myself.

"I am tired of being strong from outside where as I am dying each second thinking about him. My love is secondary to me but my top most priority is only him. You all don't know what all I am going through all this while. I lost all my hope but when he woke up from the coma then it's like I got my life back. It's like a reason for my living is back. You don't know dada, all those sleeplessness nights where I was having dreadful nightmares about siddu leaving me or dying. I just became a machine who only works,eats,drinks and repeat and also who used to rest only for three or four hours just for the sake of body because the brain needs break but then I became hopeful again because siddu is alive and he is infront of me. I thought that's enough for me since he is living infront of me that thought itself made me happy somewhat. But I didn't think that he will know the truth this soon"

I broke down completely and was sobbing hard. I don't want them to know but I am also scared. Scared of loosing him,scared of my love leaving me,scared of fate which is currently playing games with me. Scared that may be after knowing that I love him, he will leave me because that's what he does whenever he doesn't know what to do. So the best thing for it is me staying away from him. I will be as far away as possible for him. It will be hard for me to be away from him but if that is what let him lives then it will never be a hardwork for me.

"Dada, you guys told me to move on but it's not possible because we can move on in life but he is my life. I know I told this so many times but even if I say this to the whole world numerous times also it will be the same. I love siddu and he is my everything infact he is more important to me more than myself and moving on isn't the option here. I am more than happy right now seeing him alive and back but I can't feel the same since he isn't with me. We can't do anything as of now but just have to wait to see what destiny has been stored for us in the future. But now I am determined that whatever be siddu's decision I will accept it wholeheartedly and I will make him fall for me again" I completed with determination.

Author's pov-

All this while, what they all failed to notice was a person listening to all their conversation. It was Siddharth. He gained his conscious but heard few sobs which he immediately recognised as Avneet's though his mind doesn't remember her. His heart always beat for her, he always craved to have a look at her. The main motto behind him asking her about her position in their company the previous day was just to have a conversation with her. His mind don't know why always finds peace whenever he talks with her even though it was an argument and she was angry about him questioning her about her talent but the way she talked to him took him by surprise. He always met the women who were ready to fall themselves near his legs but he didn't even look at them but then this girl who is fierce yet soft spoken,bold yet cute and all in all looks like a firecracker and now this girl says that she loves him. Butterflies or let's just say a freaking zoo was inside his stomach listening about her confession.

He doesn't love her yet now but he surely know how much he loved her in the past. Her words, her crying, her pain told him about her everything when she said outside that he is her everything, his heart skipped a beat but now when he realised how much she is enduring he felt the same too that she is his everything though right now exactly he needs sometime but he won't run away this time because she had already endured enough. He don't remember that in the past if he cured or healed or cared or loved her but now he is going to do everything which he did or didn't in the past as he don't remember it.

"Whatever may be the past avni, I won't let it effect our future I know you love me and I also know that I loved you and I don't remember it but the way you said that you will make me fall for you told me the same thing that I am already falling for you. Just give me sometime avni, give us sometime. I will make everything right" he thinks with an idea of what to do in the future with determination.

Phew!!!
That wasn't exactly easy..
Sorry for late update
Caught up with few things.
Next update will be soon
No promises though