TW: SH, Suicide attempts
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You've given up. Completely given up, before yes you we're suicidal but you still wanted to grow up, now you don't. There's too much going on you don't want to grow up anymore. You stole some tablets from the ministry hospital and now was the day. "Hey guys I'm going to pick some mushrooms ill be back later." You say to Sodo, Papa and Mountain who were in the living room. "See you." Papa says and you smile and walk out, your not coming back you don't want to tell lies.
You walk towards the woods with your bag and then turn around and look at the ministry one last time. You walk until there's no more opening and then sit down. You don't have energy to walk further. You get out the tablets and then pop them into your hand and take them all with your monster. Then you lean back, 30 better be enough(!). You feel your head spinning after like 15 mins and you feel like absolute shit and then you give into the sleepiness. You woke up on hospital. Apparently when Cirrus found out she wanted to join and she found you.
You felt like absolute shit and you slept on and off for 4 days and then you gained some energy. "We're releasing you today, youll be under supervision from one of the band memebers at all time." The main doctor says and you nod. You sit up and then stand up and walk to a wheelchair. You hadn't eaten or drank anything since the od but they were giving you things through an iv. Now you didn't have that you could starve to death. You got wheeled to Sodos room and he was walking next to you, you hadn't said much you didn't care anymore. Sodo handed you your phone and then you 'needed the bathroom.' You got up and walked in and he was right outside the door.
You opened your phone from the case and then saw your blade was stoll there. You then took off your hoodie and dug the blade into your arm. There were at least 25 cuts not too big maybe 2 inches but they were bleeding. You were silently crying and now you'd have to go to bed and never wake up again while Sodo thinks your fine. You out your jumper on and then bunch it in your hand so that the blood doesn't drip then you walk out after splashing water on your face. "All done." You mumble and then walk towards his bed. You flop onto it and then realize your mistake when he looks at you. "Aren't you going to take your jumper off? It's like 24 degrees tonight." He says and you tear up. "Did you do something?" He asks his face all serious. You don't answer, clearly guilty. "No, no, no, no, no, no, what did you do?" He asks and walks towards you but you lay on the arm you cut. You close your eyes and try to fall asleep and ignore him shaking you and rolling you over but it doesn't work and you just cry.
He picks you up and carries you back to the medical during the period you pass out. When you wake up you back in the fucking hospital, you can't do anything right. You notice your alone in your room somehow and sit up and then silence the machines and take everything off yourself as quickly as possible and then stand up. There I'd a tray in the room and you open the top one and see some drugs. Not deadly tho. The next draw has a scalpel. (Idk what's in those draws btw) you pick it up take it out of the bag and hear the door open behind you.
You hold it up to your neck and turn around. "Swiss don't do anything, just let me die, just fucking let me die." You say and then dig the scalpel into your neck slightly. He is suddenly in front of you and the sharp is on the floor. "No stop it just stop fucking saving me." You scream and cry into his arms. The doctors rush in and you feel yourself getting sleepy after they inject you with something. You calm down and Swiss carries you back to bed and you just hold his hand and cry. "Why can't I die?" You ask and he shakes his head, "Because your not supposed to yet. Clearly." He says and you just cry and cry and cry until you fall asleep.
You decide how it ends I'm too tired to write
