Falling Apart

The Post

" Fuck." I said under my breath.

I need to tell Mads before he does. I could feel the sweat drip down my forehead and it wasn't even hot that day.

How am I supposed to tell her this? I kissed her crush. I wish I would have used my head! I mentally slapped myself.

I've known her for such a long time now. I can't do it. It'll break her. And Trust me, Mads is not a person you would want mad at you but want as a friend. She will make you feel unwanted and like a piece of shit. There's nothing that I hate than to have her mad at me!

So much was going on in my head. I couldn't take it. I turned around and started to walk over to the door, I swag them open then walked right out.

I went home. I didn't tell anyone. I'll just tell them I felt sick.

I took the keys out of my bag, opened the door to hear shouting from my Mom and Dads room.

They were arguing....again. That's all they seem to do these days, argue nonstop.

I sighed and made my way to my room. I needed to think. I was planning on telling her tomorrow yeah tomorrow.

How was I gonna do it though?

I'm going to lose her. We've been best friend since forever and kissing her crush was shitty. I should have kicked him in the nuts instead. That's what I should have done.

Should. Should. Should.

That's what I should have done. But, I didn't.

All the thinking made my head hurt. I needed music to calm me down.

I first changed my clothes into some gray sweat pants that's say TOKYO on one side of the leg and some white tank top.

I sat on my bed and took my laptop. I placed it on my lap and opened it. I went on YouTube and typed Three Days Grace, The Animal That I Have Become.

I plugged my headphones in and let the song play in my ears as loud as it could go.

I took out my phone and went on Instagram.

I was following more people than the people that were following me so I decided to unfollow them.

I went to stalk Keith just for one last time I told myself. Lies.

As I scroll down his page, a certain video caught my eye.

"Is that me?" I asked myself out loud.

I clicked on the video and saw that it was me and Kyle.....kissing!

Oh my God! There's been over 1M views.

I wanted to tell her, but this..this is wrong!

This makes it even worse. I first kiss her crush, didn't tell her and she finds out on Instagram? She's never going to forgive me now.

I paced around my room, " I'm so scared.." I cried.

I love Mads. I do. This is going to ruin our friendship!

I decided to go find her now.

I went downstairs and there weren't a lot of screaming heard anymore which was good.

I'm going to find her and explain this myself.

I open the door to already find Mads there pointing her phone up my face.

"Crystal, is this true?"