Falling Apart

Bad Feeling

That was weird. Keith is weird, but I always enjoyed his weirdness but this time it just sent chills down my spine.

I wasn't friends with Madison anymore but I still love her. I'll always care about her even if I'll act as if I don't give a rats ass about her.

I sighed. This little game that she was playing was stupid. I understand that she was mad but honestly she took it too far. I've never really been a person to take crap for a long time. I'll try my best if I really care about you but once you push me away, I'll do anything to stay away from you.

Why was everything in my life going so wrong. I swear it's falling apart. First, I lose a best friend, then my parents get into this really big argument and there yells everywhere about a divorce, then I start falling for Evan..? What is this? Some kind of sick game? I do not want to believe that I actually like Evan. Not that it's a bad thing to like him he's actually pretty hot I should say and has a great personally. A smile that you would die for. Ah, his smile. The way his lips move-- what am I thinking. Ugh I don't want to fall for him! If it happens he might not like me back and it'll be awkward and once you step into that side, there's no going back.

Probably asking, maybe we could be friends? No. I don't believe in that bullshit. If I like you, and you find out and it doesn't work out and I really liked you, you can't say," Maybe we could be friends." No. Okay? No. Obviously if we could have just been " friends" then I would have not fallen for you!

I let myself believe that this was just a phase. I'm not going to let my silly emotion ruin this friendship.

Just as I think about his I DONT like Evan, I spot him walking.

I step back as I see him. I don't want to talk to him. Not after the almost kiss thing. Well it wasn't because I was embarrassed that I thought he was going to kiss me, but I was mad because he didn't. Actually it was both.

I turn to walk away, begging God that he won't see me. My begging seemed to not be heard because I felt a hand on my shoulders, without thinking I smacked the hand away from me sending a loud noise in the hallways. I look back to see a shocked Evan at me acting.

I realize what I did and quickly spoke, " Uh, sorry."

"What's wrong with you? You seem...off." He asked frowning a bit.

"Nothing, " I turned and started to walk away again.

He stopped me on my tracks,"Is this about Mads? Is it why you're upset?"

"I'm not upset." I said coldly. I'm surprised at my harsh tone. I've never really spoke to him this way. I know I shouldn't be mad at him, but I can't help the feeling.

"Don't lie to me, Crystal. I know you're upset."

I stare at him and say nothing. I want to shout but I stay silent. I try to make myself calmer. This was not Evan's fault and I knew it. But my mouth just would keep saying anything.

I turn around before I say something I would regret but Evan was not the one to give up especially when it came to his friends. Uh the thought of " friends " made me want to bang my head on the way severally times.

He stopped me again and I freaked! I turned my body around really quickly that I thought I was Spider-Man's wife or something.

" Maybe I am upset! You know if someone doesn't want you then you should just leave them be!" I yelled then bit my lips. I knew I wasn't talking about Madison.

"Or maybe it's just a phase, she'll get over it. You'll get over it. " Ugh we were talking about totally different things and that upsets me more.

"What if it's not a phase? " I half whispered.

"I'm sure it is." He stepped closer to me and pulled in a hug. I wanted to fight the warm feeling I was feeling but I couldn't.

" I'm sorry, Evan. I'm just going through a lot right now."

"Don't apologize." He kissed my forehead. The feeling of his pink beautiful lips on my forehead sent chills all over me. The good kinds of chills. Even though it was just a friendly action, I knew deep down inside me it meant more, even if I denied it.

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

It was finally lunch time and I was starving. But I wasn't going to eat. Hunger could eat me if it wanted to but I was not going to eat. The whole day I've been keeping an eye on Keith. I hate the feeling I had the things were bad and that in the future they were going to be miserable. The whole time when Evan was talking to me, as much as I tried to pay attention my eyes always were wandering around for Keith. The bad feeling that I was feeling were pretty strong and I felt so uncomfortable. I had a feeling that he was up to something bad and I felt like it would be better if I kept an eye on him.

Suddenly I hear my name being called over and over by Evan and when I turn over I blush because I felt kind of embarrassed at how much attention i put on Keith and I got caught staring at someone else.

"You still like him?" If I didn't know better you could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Um.." I don't know what to say. Maybe if I said yes maybe that would not make me have that small crush on Evan. If I said no then he would know I didn't like anyone and that would just be too hard on me.

He looked down," I have to go to the bathroom." He said and left before I could respond.

That was weird. Urghh he probably thinks I still like Keith. Do I? But why would that bother him? Maybe he's just looking out for me. Yeah that was it.

I looked around for Keith again because he was up to something and I didn't like the feeling I was getting. What would he mean by ' somewhat connected'?

I was determined to find out his plan before he took any action. While I liked around for him, I finally spot him talking to a lunch lady. I looked closer. What? It can't be. Beth ( the lady at the desk) . What was she doing working at my school?

I get a little scared because I remember the stare she gave me. She could kill me with just that stare. She got fired because of me. I remember it all and the bad feeling starts to grow.

As I try to look away, my eyes are clued do her and I want to look away but I can't seem to. She looked my way and our eyes met, and she once again gave me the death stare.