Falling Apart

You and Me

I'm back!!!! I've tried to update sooner but it's so hard. I have finals and so I have to study but here! XD ~I had this song on loop the whole time I was writing this, so this happens. XD

*************************

I told him everything. 

How I got detention and I went back home and my Father lost it. 

How he tried to rape me. 

How my Mother watched and didn't do shit. 

How I couldn't stop thinking about it. 

How I'd still feel his hands on me. 

How my Mother killed my Father. 

How his blood was on me and I couldn't seem to get it off.

How I lied to him about Keith so that I didn't have to tell him the truth.

How I cried as I watched my life crumble in front of my eyes. 

As I was telling him about it, you would think I would be sobbing. But...I wasn't. I am in so much pain. So much that it's becoming numb. 

I can't cry. Crying would be good but I can't cry. 

My body is way too small to have to hold this burden I'm feeling.  

Evan listened and his face..I couldn't quite read it. He didn't interrupt me. He let me talk. I sounded so weak. 

I could hear it. Hell, I could feel it. 

".....and I can't tell anyone." I finished. I sigh and look to my right as I run my hands on my face.

He stood still. 

Silently.

I don't blame him. How is someone suppose to reach to this?

He clenches his jaw and a frown replaces his face. I wonder what he's thinking...

"Do you wish I didn't tell you now..?" I ask quietly.

"No, I'm so glad you told me, a bit upset though." 

I look at him. Upset..? I can imagine, I mean this whole situation..

"I'm upset that you didn't tell me sooner. I didn't know it would be this bad and you let yourself go through it alone." He then suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug. 

"Do you not know how much I care about you? I don't care if we just had the worst fight..I don't care, if anything, you can always tell me," His voice breaks a little at the end. I then feel something fall down my cheek. 

Was it tears..? 

Evan..

He continues, voice still cracking, " I don't want you to feel alone..cause you're not alone. I'm here, I'm here. Always. " 

He takes a deep breath, "I feel like such a bad friend, through this whole time, I was making everything about me when I should have been there for you. I should have known.." Another tear falls.

"Evan.."

He tighten his grip on me, "I want to be there for you always. Always, always, always.." 

I wiggle out of his hug just enough to put both of my hand on each side of his face. 

He was crying, I could tell he was trying to fight it, to be strong but I love that he's showing me his emotions.

 I smile weakly, "Evan, you were always here. Even when you didn't know about this, you were always here. When we argued at school, I hurt you, but when I came back here, you didn't know why, but you let me stay. I hurt you again, but here you are, I'm so sorry for hurting you.. but don't you get it? You're always here for me. Always, always, always.."