Falling Apart

I Want..

Hello! Back again with another chapter of Falling Apart! It's been long I'm sorry. School started so you know how that is. Well enjoy! 💕

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I bite my bottom lip hoping that my tears would return back in my already bloodshot red eyes.

I'm walking away from the only person that's been there for me through out all my life, never doubted me, was my shoulder to cry and get I can't feel anything but the pain he's caused me.

He's still standing there as I walk away from him.

When the hell did this hallway get so fucking long?

"Crystal.." I hear him call and I want to run into his arm and beg him to unbreak my heart.

I want to believe him. I want him to be mine. I want to be his. I want to feel protected and have hope.

I want my safe haven back.

"Bye, Evan." I say firmly. I wasn't expecting it to come out strongly but I'm glad it did.

The tears starts to build up in my eyes and I can already feel the headache making camp in my fucked up head.

I don't want to cry but it's just so hard.

I blink.

I blink as fast as I can and the tears go away for a bit.

My chest hurts. Every heart beat brings me closer to death. It aches for his love. He's like poison that was once okay to have but finally doing its job.

I shut my lips tightly, in a perfect line, and I touch my lips, parting them and I shiver. 

Finally, I make it to my first period class, Civics.

Mrs. T. eyes me as I walk over to my seat.

"You're late."

"I know."

"Have something to say about that?" She asks, fixing her glasses.

"No."

"Crystal, you know what that means. Detention."

"Alright."

At this moment I don't care. I'm hurt and I'm dealing with it the wrong way but I just don't care anymore.

I'm very well aware that I'll have to see Beth but she should do what she wants. I'm done.

Finished. I give up.

Evan was the only person who could help me.

Every time that I would think its the end, I'd picture him hugging me, holding my hand, kissing me passionately but I can't do it anymore.

Instead I see him kissing her and not me.

I want to get this out of my head but it's tattooed like the word bitch on someone's ass.

I want to get out of here. I see Mrs. T talking but I can't hear her.

"Crystal."

"Crystal, are you listening?"

"...Yes." I hesitantly answer.

"Do you mind explaining it then?"

"...Yes, I mind." I don't know what's up with me. I don't know if it's the teacher or my life that I'm pissed at at the moment.