Switching sides

09

Camila

   I hesitate before knocking on the dressing room door. I hear Shawn's mic check in the background so I know I wouldn't be running into him. I pray that Taylor doesn't open the door that she is off somewhere else but my stomach flips at the thought of her opening it.

   The door is then pulled open and I glance up to see Andrea.

"Oh sweetie," she says and pulls me in.

The door shuts behind me and her arm wraps around my shoulder leading me to the couch. I glance around to see who's here.

"She's not in here, she's backstage, " Andrea says

I nodded and sat down. Andrea makes her way to the table, then comes back and hands me a blue Gatorade. My favorite.

"Thank you," I say opening the bottle and taking a few chugs of it.

The cool sensation helped ground me and I take a deep breath. I can feel Andreas's gaze on me.

"Can you fix this?" I ask pulling my hood off

I refuse to meet her eyes. I can hear a slight gasp.

"Yes," she says and stands up.

She asks me no questions as I hear her shuffling around. I feel her drape a towel over my back and brush out the knots. I'm grateful she doesn't ask any questions yet I get the feeling she already knows. I hear her starting to cut and I close my eyes. My hair. My fucking hair. I take a deep breath.

"Okay done," Andrea says handing me a mirror and I look at it.

My hair was cut to my shoulders now all even, it's going to take years to get it back to my length.

"Thank you," I say trying not the shake.

I feel her pull me into a hug and pat my back. She knows what happened and just leaves to see if Taylor needs anything.

I don't leave, I stay curled up on the couch, my brain running a mile a minute.

Why, why did he do that? I try to reason but that's when the Tears come back. I don't realize how exhausted I am as I lay down on the couch. I pull the blanket draped over the back and over myself with it. Not even trying to fight it I close my eyes and sleep.

I'm woken up by the door opening and I don't even try to hide myself. My heart is broken, I feel as if a piece of me was stripped away. I see a set of legs in front of me and I glance up to see Taylor.

"Hi" I rasp out

"Are you okay?" she asks

I shake my head and that's when she motions for me to scoot over. I move and Taylor sits down and pulls me into her shoulder. I cry for a while before I notice she's rubbing my back.

"What time is it," I ask

I pull back and sit next to her.

"Almost 5, I finished sound check a while ago," she says

I pull my phone out of my pocket to see missed texts and calls from Shawn. My heart pangs with guilt. What kind of girlfriend am I to leave him like that?

I stand up and go to leave them Taylor speaks up

"You deserve better Camila," she says

I'm taken aback by her comment. She doesn't know what she's saying. I continue out and make my way to the bus where I see Shawn pacing around it. He noticed me and runs up to me.

" oh my gosh Karla you scared the shit outta me," Shawn says

"I'm sorry," I say

He wraps his arms around me and we make our way into the bus