Switching sides

12

Camila

The next few days were a blur, Shawn would perform, come back to the bus or hotel to fuck me, then go out with his buddies. It became a routine for a while until it wasn't. One night after Shawn had his way with me and went out he mentioned he would've back till tomorrow so I tried figuring out what to do.

Part of me wanted to get out, to go do something but the face of going alone stopped me. Taylor popped into my mind. She was still my friend, right? Shawn said it was good. I pulled out my phone to shoot Shawn a text.

Camila: hey baby can I hang with Taylor for a little?

His text came back immediately

Shawn: I guess, just be in bed early.

I rolled my eyes and made my way out of the bus. I only had one idea where she would be, maybe I was just that smart or I could hear her voice bouncing off the walls.

It was near the end of her concert so I didn't mind waiting backstage for her, Karma was on, her last song I think? Maybe I was making a bad decision? I go to turn when I see Taylor come running off stage and her eyes catch mine.

"Hey Camila" she shouts and I suddenly feel stuck. I can't leave now, it would be incredibly rude. So I make small talk.

"That was amazing," I said gesturing to the crowd

"I know I still can't believe it, it's hard to take in at times," Taylor says wiping her face off with a rag.

I eye her and the people around us, unsure how to even talk to her, I've only had one other friend in my life, and it far more natural than this conversation. I glanced at my shoes when I heard Taylor take a breath in.

"What are you up to," She asks

"I uhm, I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out or something, shows out and I just-" Taylor cut me off

"Yes, you don't gotta explain," she said wiping her forehead

I just nodded trying to keep my smile at bay. We continued to stand there awkwardly.

"I'm going to go change and I'll be you outside your bus?" She suggested

"Yeah okay," I said

Taylor turned away and my eyes caught the glint of a bracelet. It was the bracelet that I had given her so many weeks ago. The word "given" fits loosely. Smiling I made my way back to the bus and sat down on the concrete.

I didn't want to sit inside after what had taken place. My thoughts wanted to be anywhere but that. So I thought about my songs. I loved my music, if Shawn found out I was actively writing he might kill me. More so take my music and burn it. He believes that women don't belong in the music industry or any hierarchy for that matter. I picked at my nails and hummed a song. One day, one day he will see that I'm good, that my music is good and he'll love them too.

Footsteps approached and I glanced up to see Taylor. Her hair was wet dripping onto one of her tour sweatshirts and jeans.

"Did you shower?" I asked confused

She nodded trying to squeeze out more water, the drops coming down to land mere inches from me.

"What did you wanna do," Taylor asks sitting down next to me.

I slightly cringed knowing her bottoms would get dirty. I shrugged my shoulders, I hadn't thought that far, shit.

"Uhm how about a girl's night, or maybe we could go to an arcade" I suggested

My mind grabbed at anything I could think of, I'd never been the one to suggest things to do, I always did what Shawn wanted.

"Oh a girl's night would be so much fun, we can go to Target and get stuff and snacks" Taylor squealed