Switching sides

27

This be a filler chap, next one 🤪🤪

Camila

Taylor was at the Kansas City game, so she left early this morning to take a flight out. I knew going wasn't in the cards for me so I slept in until noon and now I've been scrolling through Indeed.

I passed by a few jobs... Daycare worker, I don't know if my anxiety could handle that....... Line cook...... I burn my toast....... Bank reception. No.

I sigh and shut the laptop. What do I want to do? My eyes flicked to Taylor's in-home studio.

Maybe?

I walked over to the doors and pushed them open, it still looked the same. This time I got to the recording doc and powered everything up. Once it was alive I created a new work and set everything up. I started adding beats to the track line and piano. The pano was easy. I strummed s few chords on the guitar as well to add to the trasck list.

I sat in that room for the next four hours recording and re-recording the sounds to get it perfect.

Once I felt satisfied I decided to add in my vocals this was the scary part as I've never done this before so I had to get it perfect.

Don't speak, no, don't try
It's been a secret for the longest time
Don't run, huh, don't hide
Been running from it for the longest time

So many mornings I woke up confused
In my dreams, I do anything I want to you
My emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind

" Right now I'm shameless
Screaming my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to

(No uh, no uh, don't wanna do this now)
(No uh, no uh, don't wanna do this now)
(No uh, no uh, don't wanna do this now)
(No uh, no uh, don't wanna do this now)

It's all there, now it's real
Now that you have me, do you want me still?
My kisses are history they go back a long time
Uh, and I'm tired of loving
Somebody that's not mine

So many mornings I woke up confused
In my dreams, I do anything I want to you
My emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind

Right now I'm shameless
Screaming my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Distance, inches in between us
I want you to give in
I want you to give in
Weakness, the tension in between us
I just wanna give in
And I don't care if I'm forgiven

Right now I'm shameless
Screaming my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you're shameless
Write it on my neck, why don't ya?
And I won't erase it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to" I sang the last part and hit the stop button.

I decided to take a break, that song was emotional for me in two ways. Taylor and him.

I shamed my hands and exited the room, deciding to watch TV I went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Picking up the remote I flicked through a few different stations until I put on the Chiefs game for background noise, pulling out my phone and opening TikTok I scrolled through a few videos before one popped up that caught my attention.

It was of Taylor at the Chiefs game. I caught myself smiling, looking back up at the TV I realized this was a replay and the game was over.

"Oh okay" I laughed and turned it off

I kept scrolling through tiktoks until another came up that caught me off guard. Taylor was walking down a hallway with a guy, and they were pretty close together.

Jealousy hit my stomach hard. It's not like that, she's literally walking down a hallway. But I couldn't shake it.

I moved on to the next video and it turned out to be a complication of Taylor at the game, her cheering when they made a touchdown, then it switched to her with that same guy- in. His. Car.

Stop, overthinking it.

But was I? We weren't anything official.

The next video was her at the restaurant with him- they stated she paid for everyone's meal so they would have the place to themselves.

Jealousy was a riot wanting to take over. I turned my screen off and sat there in silence.

I have no right to be angry or upset. We weren't anything, stop.

Yet I couldn't stop the tears that spilled from my eyes down my cheeks.