RAMSEY [TDH - V]

Chapter 14

LETIZIA AMANDA

Three days have passed since my awful encounter with Norman happened, and Andreas hasn't showed up nor spoken a word to me at all. Not that I am expecting an apology from him, I don't think monsters will ever feel any remorse with all their evil-doings.

I spent the last days crying myself to sleep because of how traumatic it was to be harassed by a man. The pain is still fresh and I could still remember how Norman slapped my face and punched my stomach for trying to protect myself from him.

Not even once I felt so humiliated and low in my life. I could only tolerate the way Andreas takes me in bed because of acceptable reasons, but I cannot endure being toyed by any other man.

If anything, I would rather kill myself now. But I can't do that. Hindi ako pwedeng gumawa nang mga bagay na alam kong magdudulot ng masamang epekto sa kapatid ko. He's the only thing that makes me feel alive and I'm not taking away from him the chance to have someone look up for him while he's growing and learning things about life.

Kasalukuyan akong nakahilata sa kama at patuloy lang na umiiyak. I am heartbroken and I don't know how should I do to let the pain subside and draw those memories away from my mind.

I denied myself food. Alam kong nanghihina na ang katawan ko gawa nang gutom, pero hindi ko maatim na kumain dahil ayokong magkalakas pa kung ganoong sitwasyon lang din ang aabutin ko. If anyone takes advantage of me, they better have me dead.

Ilang beses na akong kinatok nina Marie at Blair nitong nakaraang mga araw pero miski sila ay hindi ko magawang harapin. I still have the trace of Norman's slap in my swollen face, I am still enduring the pain of my stomach. Ayokong makita nila akong miserable, ayokong tanungin nila ako patungkol sa nangyari, dahil hindi ko kayang pagusapan pa iyon.

Ibinabad ko ang sarili sa bathtub at matagal bago ako umahon doon.

Maraming mga bagay ang sumasagi sa isip ko habang nakababad sa bathtub, wala ni-isa sa mga iniisip ko ay maganda. It's all about the pity I feel for myself.

Nang matapos ay nagbihis na ako ng pangtulog at sandali kong sinulyapan ang mukha ko sa vanity mirror. Namumula pa rin ang kabilang pisngi ko dahil sa sampal pero hindi na bakat masyado ang kamay ni Norman.

Biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya agad ko iyong nicheck. Si Klaud.

Message:

Marie and Blair are worried about you, Ma'am. Please eat something, they prepared food for you.

Araw araw na akong tinitext ng ganito ni Klaud simula nang mapansin nilang hindi na ako lumabas sa kwarto.

But I never had the will to reply.

The phone vibrated again.

Message:

Zia, si Blair 'to. Ngayon lang binigay sa akin ni Sir Klaud ang number mo. Please lang lumabas ka na diyan, kumain ka! Ano ba kasing nangyayari sayo, hindi na kami mapakali ni Marie rito.

A smile escaped my lips after I read Blair's message. Yet, still, I'm not ready for a conversation with them.

It's already 8:30 in the evening and I laid on the bed to get some sleep.

Dumaan ang mga araw na wala pa rin akong ginawa kundi ang magmukmok sa kwarto ko. I could feel myself getting weak and dizzy. Wala na akong lakas at hilong hilo na rin ako. Hindi na rin ako makatayo dahil sa sitwasyon ko. Anytime, I'll collapse. Sobrang pagpaparusa ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko.