thousand words (random poetries!)

16: Nobody ; To "Self"

Have you ever had an encounter?

So surreal , it feels like a dream

This may looked like foolish ,

It's a silly yet kinda worth the try.

Have you ever looked at a mirror?

But your reflection's not the same

Does it make you happy?

If you have too much

Does it make you less human?

If you don't have enough

Why am I even asking?

When I don't even know the answer.

I've tried it before ,

I've looked at a mirror a thousand times

I've always seen somebody ,

Looking at me just like me

Though , it's kinda sad ,

Tears seems to keep falling

I guess I've lived a life ,

Far from what I actually am.

I am just but a simple man ,

But life's complicated

It pushes me through the edge

The older I get ,

The more I hated myself

I guess this is the reality ,

It's far from our expectations

As I looked at myself at this mirror ,

I'm convinced it is true.

I'm the living proof ,

To confront my in denial "self"

' This is who you are right now! ' ,

From myself to my "self".

I know you tried your best ,

I know your pains

I know your insecurities

I know your darkness

I know your lowest point

I knew you cried secretly ,

When no one else noticed

I even know your deepest thoughts ,

So please don't cry for me "self"

As I looked at you , myself

I know I tried what I could at the very least.

Since day one until now ,

You did what you can

You sweat , bleed , wept and struggled ,

Just like anyone else.

I think you still deserved ,

A recognition at least

I know my limitations ,

But I owe it to my "self".

But I guess I expected too much ,

It always hurts to failed

But if a little praise could lift me up ,

That would be great.

So to you , myself ...

That I'm looking right now

You're far from what I imagined ,

But keep your head held high

The road may be far ,

But we still have a time

I've hit rock bottom ,

But I'm still standing still.

So lets try anew again , "self"

Let's try and try and try

Failure is imminent ,

But who didn't failed in this lifetime?

Today I may looked like this ,

But tomorrow , we never can tell

Next time when I look at this mirror again ,

I'll word hard for it ,

I'll see myself ,

The "self" that I really want to be!

~ nniiwwpoetry ~ 08/01/23