𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐲𝐤𝐞

022

he should've seen that coming.

"jake, i'm sorry..."

he should've, and yet it still stings like a bitch.

god, i should've known better than to confess to the man who had a difficult time getting over his ex.

"o-oh... yeah i get it, you don't like me-"

heeseung shakes his head in disagreement, holding him by his shoulders.

"i like you- i do..." he looks at him, "but it's not enough, jake. i don't want to date you when i can't even reciprocate your feelings towards me."

it's not... enough? when will it ever be enough for you, heeseung?

jake feels his eyes getting blurry as his tears started forming. he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself.

"is it... is it still sunoo for you?" he whispers. it doesn't matter if he gets hurt, he just wants to know the truth.

he sees the pain flash on heeseung's eyes for a second. "no, jake. it's not about sun-"

"a-are you sure? be fucking honest with me," jake brushed heeseung's hand away from his shoulders.

"because i've been trying to get close to you for god knows how many times, hee. i want to know you too- but fuck, why is that so hard? why is liking you... so hard?"

jake looks at him with tears in his eyes, and heeseung looks away. he hates seeing jake suffer because of him.

"can't i like you? i've never wanted anyone this bad... please," jake grips the hem of heeseung's t-shirt, as if he's so afraid of letting him go. "please... i can love you better than he did."

why do i sound this desperate? i hate this. i don't want to be like this.

he hears heeseung let out a deep sigh, then holds his hand that's been gripping on his shirt.

"no. you can't, jake." his voice was so soft, "you never will." but his words were ice-cold, and they stung jake sharper than a knife could.

jake feels like laughing. i can't, huh? how is this fair? he doesn't even want to give me a chance.

"bullshit..." he finally steps away from heeseung. "you talk so much bullshit."

"jake, i don't mean it like that." heeseung brushed his hand through his hair out of frustration. "fuck it- i'm really sorry..."

"don't apologize, it doesn't make everything better. just so you know, i'm not the kind of person who easily gives up." jake starts to walk back away from the beach.

"wait-" he cuts heeseung off.

"don't fucking follow me. i can go back to the hotel by myself."

---

jay stops drinking his seventh can of beer when he finally sees heeseung walking back to their cottage.

he frowned when he realized that jake isn't with him. he stood up to walk towards him.

"where's jake?" heeseung didn't answer and just avoided his gaze.

"where the hell is jake, lee heeseung?" jay repeats, his voice is firm. "answer me while i'm still nice to you."

heeseung massaged his temple, "he went back to the hotel."

"what? and you just let him go back alone?"

"he wants to be alone, jay. if you want you can go check on him." heeseung grabs a bottle of hennessy from the icebox. he just wants to get wasted tonight.