What I Want

Chapter One

Taylor's P.O.V

"That's looking really good Dixie," I claimed watching Dixie dump glitter all over the white piece of paper and probably herself and my floor but who cares? Floors and clothing can be washed that's why washing machines and vacuum cleaners were invented. Strange huh? "Do you ever think about it Taylor?" I whipped my head around and saw my friend Lily spread across my large couch, it was brought with the intention of snuggling with my then boyfriend Taylor on it, but that soon went south. "Think about what Lil?" I questioned as I slid myself up and onto the couch beside her while keeping an eye on Dixie and wondering where Meredith was. "Kids, do you ever think about having kids?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know Lily, maybe I'm destined for the lonely singer path. At least Dixie loves me." Lily hit me, "Ouch Lil, what the heck?" I questioned rubbing my arm.

"Aww, poor baby, look Taylor I've known you for three years now. You're twenty three years old and you deserve to think about your future." I scoffed and looked at Lily.

"Maybe love in general isn't here now but I'm pretty sure that before you parent you need a child, children tend to come from a mommy and a daddy." I expressed with a sigh.

"Not really Taylor, you can adopt or get a sperm donor. You don't need a man to have kids you can do it alone, millions of people do." She had a point and as I looked back at Dixie I smiled and said. "Maybe..." I looked back to see Lily checking her phone.

"Oh hey before I forget are you busy in December this year?" I shook my head having no idea what was happening, I was turning twenty four but that was it. "Uhm not really apart from my birthday weekend..." I said as she smiled. "Why?" I further questioned.

"Well we are looking for people to do the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show as performers and if you were up for it you could be one." She stated and I thought about it. It was something different I found myself nodding my head as Lily hugged me and got on the phone. "Hey I just asked her, she said yes can you set it up with her people." She hung up the phone after nodding a few times and I realised something. "This was a setup wasn't it?" I questioned as she nodded before turning to Dixie. "Come on Dixie we gotta go see daddy." I laughed as she pulled herself off the couch but Dixie began to throw a tantrum. "You just wait until it's your kid Swift," I raised my hands in the, forgive me position as I said, "She can stay with me." Lily looked up at me,

"Really?" she questioned in amazement. I nodded wondering why she was questioning me when ten minutes ago she could have sent me off to a sperm clinic to get pregnant. "I'm just shocked but okay." She knelt down to tell Dixie who immediately started dancing around excitedly. "You have no idea what you're in for..." Lily told me as she handed me Dixie's diaper bag which had her pull-ups and changes of clothes since she was potty trained but it pays to be careful. "I think I'll survive one afternoon Lil, she's three nearly four." I said laughing at Dixie who had gone to continue her arts and crafts. Lily left soon after promising to pick Dixie up after dinner I said it wasn't a problem since it was a little after 11.30am I decided to do some washing.

An hour had passed and I hadn't heard a peep from Dixie so I went looking for her. Walking into the lounge I saw the most gorgeous sight I've ever seen. Dixie was cuddled up on the couch with my cardigan covering her little body and she was sound asleep. I looked at the arts and crafts table and her drawing was dry but I took out my phone and snapped a picture sending it to Lily with the comment. "She likes Auntie Taylor more." Lily happily replied with a "Whatever Tay," before I got a notification that Lily had posted a picture on Instagram it was the one I just took. I smiled and turned off my phone heading to the kitchen to cook some dinosaur chicken nuggets and potato balls for Dixie for lunch. I had just pulled them out of the oven when crying from the living room startled me. 'Dixie' was my immediate thought. Rushing into the room I saw Dixie's face awash in tears she looked at me and cried harder, rushing to her I scooped her into my arms as she pushed her little face into my neck. "What's wrong Dixie?" I questioned as I rubbed her back, trying to soothe her, I could feel the tears on my chest that were dripping from her cheeks. "Scared." She murmured pushing into me again; I sighed and rubbed my back. Rocking her from side to side I began to sing, "...just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now..." and after singing and gently rocking her she was asleep I smiled liking this already but when I went to sit her back down the problems started again. "No Taywor don't put me down..." she cried into my arms, I really had no idea what to do so I scooped her up again feeling her little body immediately relax as she fell into me once more. "How about some nuggets and potato balls?" I questioned as she nodded her head and said, "Yes pwease." I found her toddler voice extremely cute so I smiled at her and we left for the kitchen, sitting down I placed her cut up chicken nuggets and potato balls on her princess plate I had here in my kitchen, no idea why though. She happily munched on the lunch I made her taking sips of apple juice that I had around from her purple sippy cup while sitting on my knee. My phone buzzed indicating a call from beside me and I noticed it was Lily calling. "Hey Lil..." I answered picking up. "Hey Tay, Caleb and I were wondering if you would keep Dixie for a bit longer?" I looked down to Dixie swiping her potato ball through some ketchup. Smiling at the sight she then threw her head back on me and looked up her little teeth were poking through as I answered. "Sure that's fine Lily,"

"Tay, uhm I wouldn't usually ask thins but uhm..." I look down at Dixie just hanging out on me,

"What Lily?" I probe. She takes a huge sigh and says,

"Would you look after Dixie for the night?" I'm in shock, 'the whole night' I begin to stutter as Dixie looks at me. "Sure that's fine, do you want to tell her?" I question. Lily agrees to tell Dixie so I put her on speaker phone. "Hi baby, how's Taylors?"

"Gwood."

"That's good baby, mommy and daddy are just going out tonight so you're going to have a sleepover with Taylor okay?" I can hear from her tone and the way she speaks that she wants Dixie to agree and Dixie looks at me and I smile as she says "Okay mama." Lily and Dixie talk for another few minutes before she has to go. I look at the clock, almost 2.00pm. Dixie follows my gaze and says, "Nap time?" I look at her and she lifts her arms so I gently raise her off the chair, she snuggles back in as I walk to her diaper bag and then walk towards my room. When we get there I put Dixie on the bed and she goes for the mountain of pillows I had there. All are for decoration. None are for anything else since I live alone with Meredith the cat. Within five minutes she is fast asleep I turn around and smile before leaving the room to tidy up the glitter bomb in the lounge.

"Hello." I answer into my phone.

"Hello is this Taylor Swift?" the voice inquires.

"Yes it is, may I ask whose calling?" The voice on the end of the line laughs,

"Of course this is Ed from Victoria's Secret, Lily told me you had accepted and I wanted to run a date past you." I smile.

"Of course," I say into my phone. He begins to talk and we have a date of the 10th of December which suits me fine. After a few more details he hangs up promising to talk before then to organize rehearsal times with the angels. I glace at the clock. 3.30pm, 'perfect I'll get Dixie' I think to myself as I walk to the first floor bedroom. "Dixie..." I call as I walk in, seeing her waking up. She smiles at me and sits up. I walk over as she motions for me to pick her up. I happily oblige and can almost picture myself doing this in a few years, hopefully with a child of my own.