Mercedez 3: Wildfire Games

9

Wrong

What is love, really? That... I couldn't definitely answer.

May mga mahal ako sa buhay. I love my family. But then alam ko rin na ibang uri ng pagmamahal na ang usapan kapag ang ating kabiyak na iyon.

At doon ako natatakot. Kaya ayokong maramdaman. Nagpapasalamat nga ako na hindi ako makaramdam ng gano'n eh. Dahil walang pwedeng makapanakit sa akin.

It's rare to find a love like ate Gucci and Row's. So rare. What's too common? Steve and Mich's. Shaniel and Clifford's. Falling out of love. Breaking up. Gano'n. Ang dami kong naririnig na gano'n.

Though my parents are a living proof that love can still be forever, I refuse to believe that for myself. Because deep inside, I know that I am too much to handle. I'm bigger than the skies. Men are too simple to handle complicated things like my whole being.

If ever I'd get married, I'd like to have a marriage like my grandparents. It's more on the dynamics, control and compromise. My abuelo does the work, he's the face of everything. But behind the camera, the brain is abuela. She does the real work. I want that. I want the power.

That's why Ylanier was a prospect to me. Why? Our dynamics was so good. If I'm not in the mood, he'd keep quiet and wait until I can control my emotions. I can easily get him to do something for me, he easily follows what I want. He does as I say.

Kaya lang, itong nangyayari sa amin? Hindi ko talaga makuha kung bakit nagkaganoon.

I did something wrong. Of course. I let another man touch me. Invade me. That only him ever did.

Subalit, iyon lang ba talaga ang ikinagagalit niya? Sobrang galit naman yata iyon na halos dinidisrespect niya na ako.

I couldn't forget the disgust on his face before he walked out on me. I couldn't forget how he brought different women to our own sacred place. Where we promised that it's only for us to occupy. Where we swore to never taint it.

Until now, I still feel the guilt creeping under my skin. Guilt for I made him mad. Guilt for I hid that something was going on with me and Hadzri. Something more than being just friends.

Yet, I never felt guilty for letting Hadzri crawl on me. Letting him touch me intimately. Letting him claim me. Letting him kiss me. Letting him camp in my home. Never. Kahit saang sulok ng buto't balat ko ay hindi ko mahagilap ang pagsisisi.

But it still doesn't change the fact that my bestfriend is important to me. That's why I'm concerned with our situation. Ano na ang mangyayari?

"Come on, Hali! Tatlong araw na nga lang ang leave mo, nariyan ka na naman sa laptop mo? Stop working and enjoy your short vacation!"

I groaned in protest when Steve closed my laptop. Lugmok akong napasandal sa backrest ng upuan ko at matalim siyang tinapunan ng tingin.

He just raised a brow at me and rolled his eyes. Then he took my laptop away from my reach.

"Five days leave ang hiningi namin sa'yo pero nagdemand ka ng three days kaya pinagbigyan ka namin. Tapos ngayon, laptop ka kaagad. Labas!" He commanded as if he's the chief of an army troop. "Papaluin talaga kita kapag hindi ka pa tumayo riyan!"

I pouted and sulked. "I need to finish some reports, hoy! Akin na!"

I tried to reach out for my laptop pero dahil nakatayo siya at nanatili akong nakaupo ay mabilis niya iyong nailayo sa akin. Itinago niya iyon sa likuran niya. His eyes pierced through me. Ngunit hindi man lang ako nasindak do'n.

Humalukipkip ako at napapadyak na parang bata sa inis.

"Napakaworkaholic mo! Naghihintay na silang lahat sa baba, sabay na raw tayong mag breakfast. Saka marami pa tayong gagawin for your upcoming birthday celebration. Tayo na!"