Mercedez 3: Wildfire Games

A/N

Hey! I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who read this fourth novel of mine! Wildfire Games, the third installment of Mercedez Series, has officially ended. Thank you for loving Haliya and Hadzri!

I started writing this after I fled to this secluded island in Davao Occidental last year. I was there to mourn for my brother's passing earlier that year, which was so sudden that it left me devastated to the core. Death of my loved ones is my major depression trigger that's why until now, I get anxious when someone from my family would call me and ask me to visit them or to go home.

My brother did that. He called me and asked me to go home on his birthday because if not, I would regret it and I won't see him ever again. That time, I was so busy with the events I got invited to (fashion shows, business conferences, etc.) so I told him that I'll just buy him a gift for his birthday, but I will be visiting him on July instead (his birthday was on April and I have packed schedules until June).

Little did I know, that would be the last time we'd be talking. He got sick and passed away. And no one told me about it until he lost his life. I was just woken up one morning and was told that he's already gone through a phone call and I couldn't do anything but wail. I was in denial, I thought I was going crazy.

While I was there in the island, I was always crying and frequently disoriented. Thankfully, writing Wildfire Games really helped me keep my sanity intact. I remember sitting under the shade of a tree as early as six in the morning, with my feet buried on the white sand, while listening to the comforting crashing of waves. And I was just using my phone to type the chapters. By afternoon, I lay on the hammock, with the beautiful sunset on the view, and the breeze kissing my skin... while writing again.

I was there for two months. And it really did help me. My therapist and virologist were the ones who introduced this kind of therapy to me, and I'm happy that I was able to feel better through and through.

That's why, ending Wildfire Games is making me emotional. This is too personal to me. I poured all my demons here (not as literal as what Haliya had gone through, but her emotions during the hard times). Haliya is my dark cylinder. And I am very thankful that her character saved me a lot. Ending this novel means I am also letting go of my grief totally. This is me moving forward.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings. For all the pain and triumphs. I am very grateful. Like Hali, I also believe that you gave these trials to me because you know that I can handle it (although most of the time, I'd be really hanging by the thread).

Life is still beautiful. And today, I am happy. Genuinely.

I pray that one day, you'll all find the healing you deeply needed too. One way or another. Take your time. Don't rush yourself. Face your emotions head-on, never run away from them. Because if you do, you'll suffer later on. And to tell you frankly, it's never easy to deal with. I hope you'd be like Haliya who always prioritizes her well-being first. This is essential so we don't project our traumas to other people. I hope you'd be like Hadzri who learns that letting his love go to fix herself is the best thing to do rather than him doing the fixing. Because healing comes from within the broken soul's own initiative. Don't try to fix someone who is deeply broken, because once you touch a broken glass, carelessly, you'd bleed. I hope one day, we all love someone the right way, and in return be loved right.

Don't quit on the game of life!

Thank you!

Samantha Radaza