Too Late

20. Do Better

Damian POV

After Rhea left I made my way through the hospital to where Dante was. I wanted to be with him, to look at him, right now until I could fix the mess I had created he was all that I had left. I sit beside his cot and offer him my hand. Instantly he grips my finger and looks up at me.

The second our eyes lock I realise just how incredibly stupid I had been. I could see so much of myself in this little boy there was no way he wasn't mine. I didn't need a DNA test to tell me it was right there in his face.

"I messed up little man, I hurt your mami. I hurt her and I broke her heart and I don't know how to fix it" I say softly "I'm want to do better, be better. I promise I will do my best, I just want to see her smile again"

Dante wriggles a little and gurgles and then it hits me like a tidal wave and for the first time I allow myself to cry for the baby we lost. As the tears fall I feel Dante squeeze my finger tighter and when I look at him he smiles and its not just any smile, it's his mami's smile.

"I love you little man" I say through the tears "I love you and your mami so much"

As I sit with Dante I begin to find it more and more difficult to ignore the gowing desire to be with Quinn. I knew she wouldn't want me there, that she would tell me to leave but I just wanted to be with her, hold her and not being able to was killing me. And it was all my fault.

"Should I go to her little man?" I ask and he gurgles at me "You think so? Right I'm going to her, she'll probably be asleep so what's the worst that could happen? Thanks little man" I say placing a soft kiss on his forehead before leaving.

When I reach Quinn's room it's dimly lit, she's laid on her side with her back to the door and the soft rise and fall of her body tells me she is asleep.
Carefully and quietly I open the door and make my way round the bed taking a seat infront of her.

One look at her face tells me she's been crying and I feel nothing but guilt. I reach out and stroke her cheek keeping my touch as light as possible so as not to wake and to my surprise without waking she nuzzles slightly into my touch.

"You're my other half you know, my puzzle piece. I don't work without you" I whisper "if I could take it back I would, if I could go back and stop myself letting him into my head I would because I've lost the only thing that ever meant anything to me"

I had no idea is she could hear me but I wanted her to know all this. I wanted her to know what she meant to me, how much I loved her and how truly sorry I was for hurting her.

"I never thought that I would ever find anyone but then you walked in, you were so beautiful and I was hooked" I smile "I remember how hard you tried not to like me, you wanted to prove  Rhea wrong but you were as hooked as I was. I remember our first kiss and the way you looked at me after and bit on your lip. I knew then that I wasn't meant to be with anyone but you. I remember everything and I carry it all right here in my heart. I love you mi àngel and I want you to be happy and if that means I have to walk away I will.....I don't want to.......but I will"

I lift her hand gently to my lips and place a soft kiss on the back of it before softly kissing her forehead.

"Goodbye mi àngel" I whisper

"D" she says softly before I make it to the door

"Yes mi àngel" I reply staying right where I am

"Our baby" she says as she starts to cry "I'm so sorry"

"Hey, ssshhh it wasn't you're fault mi àngel" I say sitting on the bed beside her and placing my hand on her shoulder, to my surprise she turns over sits up and throws her arms around me.

I wrap my arms around her holding her as close to me as I can, I wanted to make the most of it because I wasn't sure she would let me do this again.

"I wanted to be mad at you.......I want to be mad at you but I can't do it" she says looking up at me "it would seem that I don't work without you either"

"You heard me?" I ask a little surprised

"Every word" she says "I wasn't sleeping I just wanted you to think I was. I knew if I looked at you I wouldn't be able to stay mad and I so wanted to"

"I'm so sorry mi àngel, I'm sorry I walked away, I'm sorry I let him make me doubt you and most of all I'm sorry for ever hurting you" I say holding her close "just tell me what to do to fix this"

"Hold me, love me, love our son, stay with us" she says "after the that there is only one other thing I need" she says and the next thing I know she pulls my face to hers and presses her lips to mine in a desperate passionate kiss

"Mi àngel no" I say pulling back from her "you need to recover, you need to grieve, we both do"

"I need to be pregnant D, I want us to have another baby" she says "I feel so empty I want to feel whole again"

"We will when the time is right I promise" I say "but right now is not the right time, we need time to grieve, to heal. For now we have Dante and he needs us both let's focus on him and when we are both ready we will try again"