Lucifer : Tainted | Woosan

15: "Dodge" (San)

(Was going to update before this, but I hadn't had the chance to because first I was super busy, and then when I thought I could finally get on with it, my dad took my phone. So I'm sorry about that.

Short little chapter, nothing meaningful here. After this chapter is when it gets a bit more interesting )))

"We're not gonna be a commodity
Not another maggot in the feed
That you're gonna eat
Motherfucker, you can try
Artificial suicide."

      Artificial Suicide- Bad Omens

October 6, 2020

San POV:

I woke up the morning after my little outing with Wooyoung, head feeling like a pincushion of needles and mouth drier than the Sahara. Which could only mean one thing- I had gotten drunk the night before.

However I can't remember how it had happened. I also can't remember what had happened after I'd gotten drunk and that is what worries me most. I'd said and done some questionable things while under the influence before, according to witnesses. I haven't ever gotten as bad as Irene, thankfully- I will never not wonder how she still hadn't gotten herself into juvy or at least arrested once.

And I panic, because this isn't Irene I was with the night before- it was Wooyoung, Jung Wooyoung. The goody-two-shoes, holier-than-thou Christian boy. Wooyoung, who could snitch at any moment he decides he feels like it. What was I even thinking when I had decided to drink- with him right there?

I can only remember one thing- being so, so close to him, feeling the nervous heat emanating from his body and those ever-so-sharp, beautiful eyes burning into mine.

And I don't even remember the context of it. Fuck.

              ****************

For the first time in the past couple days, I finally arrive at school the time I usually do. I forgot just how much better it is.

After that choking incident with Hongjoong, it was like the little energy that had remained in my body before had been blown out like a flame and replaced by a strange sluggish, somewhat depressive state of apathy. I wanted to do nothing but sleep and physically couldn't make myself get up for school until it was too late. My parents' complaints and screams made it only worse.

It was nowhere near as bad as I'd experienced three years ago- back then I'd refuse to eat, shower, and couldn't go out without feeling like I'm suffocating. Church would cause panic attacks, and school was out of the question for a while. But those three days I had been late and out of it reminded me of that time, and the longer I stayed in bed the more and the stronger the memories came flooding back.

So I had gathered all my remaining mental strength and pushed myself out of bed that day, and fortunately was only an hour late.

Wooyoung had been there, after three days of settling in, and I was struck with the realization that he indeed lives here now and I will now be seeing him almost every day. Somehow it had made me feel better but then worse as I thought of all the potential drama that could ensue with him and Hongjoong's group.

Hongjoong is mad, there's no question about it. Wooyoung had instantly come to my rescue instead of egging him along or ignoring him at the least, and if I know Hongjoong at all he's going to do something about that sooner or later. Wooyoung is a valuable asset to his group- dumb and gullible, easy to set up against someone, easy to instill grudges in. He doesn't think with a mind of his own, he'd never learned how to.

Hongjoong knows how to work kids like Wooyoung. He would mold and shape his mind into a submissive pile of mush that could only agree with his every word and order, and when he could be sure that Wooyoung would never pose a threat to him, he would use him and discard him like a rag. He was small, innocent, and pretty- just what Hongjoong likes.