Love & Drugs

Noah

I'm trying to do some clean up in my old shit and things that are no more important. I find a big box full of paper with lyrics and idea for music on them. I look at them a bit and stop one particular sheet of paper with things written on it. It was a song I wrote years ago when I was sad but mostly mad at Molly. Rereading it today make me realize I was kinda harsh with these words even though we published the song publicly with my band. Then I found my marriage papers with my toxic ex, and the ring. I put it back in the box before Molly arrives at my place, I leave the box on the ground near my couch and I go take a shower.

______

I hear knocking at my door so I go get it. I open my door and see Molly, she smiles at me and then I let her get inside.

"You did some clean up through your stuff, as I see"

She says looking at my stuff and then looking at me. I nod to answer then say something before going in my kitchen.

"Do you want a drink or something to refresh?"

"Hmm, I think I'll take a room please Mister"

Does she say with a smile in the corner of her mouth before sitting on my couch. I get her a glass of rum like she asked. I enter the room, and Molly put something in her pocket so quickly that I can't see what it was and she has a disappointed and lost air on her face. I hand her, her drink with my hand.

"Here"

Molly stands up rapidly and look at me in the eyes with disgust and sadness.

"You know what? Letting you in my life again was a fucking mistake! Fuck you"

"What?"

She doesn't even take the time to explain and leave my apartment slamming my door behind her. Knowing her, I should just give her some space and not text or see her for a moment, maybe she'll explain after.

______

Four hours later and I can't do anything but think about her. I'm laying on my bed thinking. I don't comprehend what I did, what I said incorrectly, or what actually occurred.

I can't stop thinking about her, her legs, the way her skin his so soft when I pass my hand on it, her beautiful big brown eyes, her pretty long soft hair that I just wanna pass my hand in every time I see her, her hands and the way she use them perfectly and has her own way of make them move when she talks about anything, her fucking perfect hips and perfect waist that I wanna put my hands on every time I see her or touch her. Her pretty lips, her pretty body and the way she makes interesting conversation every time. The look she gives me when I say something stupid but sweet. I think I'll just go walk to see her at her place. I'll have the time to take some fresh air and think at the same time. Once arrived, I knock at the door. All the lights are off in the house and I'm starting to ask myself if she's here because its long before she answers the door. Molly finally responds.

She's half naked, I can see most of her skin since she's only wearing black lace panties and a man's white shirt that she didn't even bother to attach the buttons, so I can see half of her breast and her hair is all messy. Molly's face is filled with an air of indifference towards me.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

She says like if she doesn't care.

"Babe come back here" I hear a male voice say inside her house. I suddenly get mad at the man and decide to get inside and tell him to fuck off. I gently propel her onto my path and proceed straight to her bedroom.

"Fuck off"

I yell at the man before taking off the sheet from the bed and chasing him.

"Dude, what the fuck, Calm down, I'm not even dressed!"

"I Don't Care, You need to get the fuck out of here!"

He promptly puts on his clothes, exits the house, closes the door behind him, and commences running. However, he forgot his shirt on Molly.

"What the fuck Noah?!"

Molly screams at me while punching me in the chest.

"No, you what the fuck Molly, you get mad for I don't know what without even telling me and then you just go fuck somebody else right after, What did I do wrong?!"

"This, asshole, now get out!"

She sheds tears and presents me both the marriage certificate and the song I composed regarding her misfortunes. Tears are falling from her eyes.

"I.."

"No I don't wanna hear a word about it, I should've never have trusted you again, get away and leave me the fuck alone!"

"Molly... I'm sorry look, it was a long time ago"

"What was I supposed to do, huh? Wait for you? May I remind you that you're the one who told me to let you go and move on! Plus, You're married to someone, so I just end up being the other woman without even knowing! Guess I won the jackpot!"

She scream's at me and start to cry more. Her eyes were getting puffy.

"I was mad, lost, and the only good thing I was good at was using my word.."

"I can't believe I fucked a married man!"

She ceases crying for a moment.

"... I missed you, you left even though I didn't told you I wanted you to stay, so I got my emotions out calling you a bitch and a waste of my time... cause at this time I thought that what was the truth... and for the marriage it was three years ago and she was really toxic okay, we didn't got divorced because I didn't care as long as we didn't have anything to do in each others live anymore"

Molly reverts back to crying. She hides it by putting one of her hands on her face. She withdraws her hand and glares at me, weeping even more. She appears to be disappointed.

".. I'm sorry.."

"No you're not" she cries harshly between two sob's.

I grabbed her and she screamed, falling down on her knees on the floor when I hugged her. I followed her on the floor, hugging her and hoping to receive forgiveness from her.

______

Molly turns the water on. I could hear it running in the bath, into the kitchen. I was searching for a glass and the red wine she asked me to get her. Once I found both of them I made her a glass of wine and gave it to her on the side of the bath. She didn't even look at me or say anything, she was just in the bath, naked, seated and arms wrapped around her knees bent. I stopped the running water, took her sponge and put shower gel on it. I dipped the sponge in the water a little and then rubbed it so that the foam forms. Molly took a sip of her wine still staring straight at the wall, not talking and not doing anything. I started cleaning her back first trying not to miss any spot then did her arms, her knees, her calf and her shin. Since she was in a certain position, I couldn't have access to her thigh to clean them. I took her legs and unfolded them to wash them, replace them like they were before. I poured a bit of water on her body to remove the foam on it, gave her the towel that was next to me on the floor. She stand up and put it around her and took my hand to get out of the bath. I run the water over. Molly was sitting on the floor of her bathroom, the glass of wine in her hand looking in the total void. She looked completely lost in her thought. Her eyes looked so empty of emotions, like if she was disconnected from herself.