Love & Drugs

Bar fight and panic attack

Noah

Trying to repeat with my band when I have my mind somewhere else is really the worst shit. We've been practising in the studio of our manager for four hours straight. It's already been three times Chris said I wasn't focused. What did she do to me? Did she cast a spell on me or what? I can't understand why I make so much of a big deal that she jumped right away in the arms of her ex. Even though it's been like a week, it still upset me. The lyrics I was supposed to sing we're mingling with my thoughts and I was supposed to play something specific on my bass, not continuing the same beat them before. I stop exhausted and stop playing. I scratch with my thumb the skin between my eyebrows then pinch the nasal bone of my nose between my thumb and my index finger while reflecting eyes closed. I kicked something not important with my big boots.

"Okay, what the fuck is happening with you today Jesus Christ!" says Chris, my drummer.

"Nothing, let's just start again," I say like if nothing just happened. I wipe my sweaty face and take my boss back in my hand.

"Hell no! We started again and again, then pass to another song just because you can't focus, for four hours" Jake says.

That's it, Jake pissed me off. He always had to open his big mouth. I take my bass case to put it back in and then head to the door to leave the studio.

"Fuck you guys!" I say before passing through the door. Billy, our manager, follow me and stop me. A tall black guy, bald with a small dark beard and moustache that he shaved a bit normally. Billy was in his fifty.

"Noah doesn't leave like that! Just take a break and try to practise again"

I look back at him over my shoulder, stop and stare at him for a quick moment. Turn my back and start walking again, walk out of the building, put my base case in the back of my mustang and start my car. I smoke a cigarette to calm myself a bit.

"Fuck!" I say kicking the floor of my car.

I look at the sky, realizing it's already getting dark. When we started practising in Billy's studio's this afternoon, the sky was still fully light of the sun. I looked at the time write on my phone and see it's getting late for supper. I'm just going to go to a bar and get myself a beer and smoke while music plays in the bar. I drive to one and enter it. I decide to sit on a chair in front of the barman counter. I ask for a beer and give him a twenty-dollar paper. He takes it in his hand and put it in his back pocket pants. Here I am, at a bar drinking thinking about my situation with Molly. Can I even call that a situation? Fuck maybe I should have told her I kinda felt something even though I didn't even want to admit it to my own self. I get up off my chair with my beer in my left hand and head up to the pool table. I install myself and the balls then suddenly I see a familiar face from the corner of my eyes. I see Tate, Molly's boyfriend. Making out with another random girl. More than making out actually cause he literally has his right hand under the skirt of the girl and he's not just resting his hand there, I can see it. This motherfucker. Rage starts taking over, I can feel my body boiling face to what I'm seeing. How could he do that to Molly? At this moment right there, I wanted to rip his face off. I get up to him and hit him with my fist in his face. The girl gets away.

"The fuck man" he says bleeding. He fights back and hit me in the eyes, ouch.

I hit him on the nose and then in his ribs. Barman stops us and take us out of the bar and so I continue to beat up the guy in the street. He hit me on the nose and I start bleeding, hit me again but in the eyes again and again. I kick him in the nuts. The guy curls up down taking his balls in his hands.

I drive right away to Molly's house. I get in and I see her in all her state.

"Noah what the fuck" she says hitting me not so hard on the cheek.