Tennessee Whiskey AU

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"I know what you're saying is bad. It's not what I wanted but I'm ready for that."

Jensen's POV

I honestly have no idea what to say to this woman as she looks at me. I also have no idea what I was expecting her to say but all of that together. Wow. Through all that to have to face losing her mother and leaving the only home or country she's ever known. I am even more amazed by her now than I was before. I know she's waiting for me to say something. I know I can't not respond, I sense she needs to know I'm okay. How can she tell me everything she just has and be concerned if I'm okay? She felt so distant while telling me all of that, the fact that she couldn't even look at me. I get it but it's tough. She carries this with her all the time. She won't tell anyone what happened to lessen her pain because she doesn't want to hurt her friends. How can she be real?

I take her hand in mine and stroke it with the other one. I want to hold her so tight and never let her go. The protective urge I felt before is now hiked up a million. She takes her hand from mine and all I can do is stare at her. I'm completely speechless. She wipes the tears from my cheek that I can't seem to help falling.

"I'm going to need you to say something, please. I can't read your mind and I sort of need to know what you're thinking right now."

I cough to clear my throat and try to find my voice, "honestly. I'm thinking I looking at the strongest, most beautiful incredible woman I have ever seen." I finally answer.

"No, I'm not. Please that's not what" she sighs. I decide I need to be firmer and show her exactly what I see. I take her face in my hands and kiss her, hoping that I can make her feel what I'm not able to say just yet. Just as she is about to take the kiss further this time it suddenly dawns on me what I'm doing. This is the last thing she needs and the last thing I should be doing.

"I didn't kiss you for that reason. I was trying to prove my point. I wanted you to see and understand none of that changes anything. In fact, as impossible as it is for me to believe I like you even more now. There is no running out the door or never seeing you again. That is the last thing I want trust me." She actually smiles at me as if I've just made her day.

"Now we have that clear. Before we talk and try to figure out how any of this works can we just not talk for a bit? Can you just hold me? Fuck that sounds so girly. But it's kinda what I need."

"Darling, I can be 100% on board with that. I told you earlier that you can cuddle with me anytime you want or need." I tell her, fully meaning it. I turn her around and pull her towards me so she's lying with her back to my chest. "Do you think maybe we should get some sleep seeing as how it's nearly 5 o'clock in the morning and I'm pretty sure you have to be somewhere soon."

"I am tired. Do you need to go? Have you got stuff on tomorrow?" she asks while she reaches over to hold my hand.

"No, I'm all clear for the day tomorrow. If you want me to, I can stay until you fall asleep."

"if I'm being truthful have already messaged Oli and told him I'm not doing so good and can I just get some rest today. Told him he owes me for that stunt he pulled earlier." I laugh as I can imagine him waking up to that in a couple of hours' time.

"Do you think he will be alright with that?"

"I think he will have to be as I plan on not being available for most of the day."

"Well seen as how we now seen to both be free for the day how about we spend it together? We can go out and do something? You leave soon so it would be good to spend a bit of time together before then?" She turns around so she's facing me before she answers.

"I would like that but with maybe one small change."

"And what would that be?"

"That maybe we don't do the going out and doing something part?"

I feel, myself smirk. There are only two reasons I can think of why she doesn't want to leave the hotel room and I'm kind of hoping it's the same reasons as me and not that she doesn't want to be seen with me. I figure how tonight's gone maybe I should clarify that before I get myself too excited. So, I go with my gut and just ask her. I take it as a good sign that she laughs before she answers. Well, I'm hoping that means she wasn't offended and not that she's laughing at me.

"I can't deny that maybe it's a little of both." She answers. She must see something in the look on my face because she shakes her head before she speaks again.

"No, not like that. I like the idea of it just being you and me. Let's be honest going out and doing something involves leaving the hotel room which involves getting dressed, neither of those things I'm feeling at the moment. Plus, if I've phoned in sick and then I'm seen around town on the arm of some hot-looking boy toy I may get in a little bit of trouble."

"I hadn't thought of that. And a valid point. Now tell me more about this not leaving the hotel room and how that means not having to wear clothes?" I really like how I feel like I can say anything to this woman.

"Well, it may also involve a little more kissing too. That's if that's something you might want to?" I can't help but smile at that. I tell her that's definitely something I'm up for as I slide my hand around the side of her neck and lean in to kiss her. I have to admit I could lose myself in kissing her. The more time I spend with her and the more I learn the more I feel myself falling for her. It sounds and feels so fucking stupid. I've known her for a matter of days. This isn't who I am. I'm not saying I'm a different woman a week kind of guy, but this is a whole new feeling for me. I feel her move closer to me until she's pressed against my chest. As much as I love talking to her and learning everything I can I have no intention of stopping. If she's happy lying her kissing me until I have no air left in my body, I am more than ok with it. As I move my hand, down her back I can't help myself but grip her ass. She has an incredible body, it's the body of someone who is fit and athletic but still completely feminine. I can't wait until we have moved to the stage where I can learn every inch of her. I sense that time isn't now and pull away. I don't want to ruin the night anymore by pushing too far to soon again. I know she says I didn't earlier, but I can't help but feel responsible. I know it was the right thing when she pecks my once more on the lips before curling up into me. I figure I can make things easier for her and lie on my back.

"I'm sorry, I'm just feeling so tired. I think talking has just warn me out."

"Nothing at all to do with the half a bottle of tequila" I chuckle.

"Yeah, that too." She says sleepily. I reach up to turn off the lamp and flick the tv off we had kept on for background noise. I can already hear her breathing has evened out and she's close to sleep. I kiss her head and tell her I will see her in a few hours. I lie there and think about everything that's happened tonight knowing sleep will be a while away for me as I process it all. All I know is while she's in my arms that's a little easier to do. I have no idea how I will feel in a couple of days when she leaves.