Tennessee Whiskey AU

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"It started off so well, they said we made a perfect pair."

Jensen's POV

I have no idea what just happened. One-minute things were getting very hot and heavy and then the next everything is flipped upside down. My hands are shaking as I reach out to touch her and pray it's okay. I have no idea what words I say to her but I do my best to calm her down so we can talk. I know one thing for sure there's no way in hell I am leaving while she's this upset.

I finally manage to break through to her and she starts to calm down. "Hey, look at me".

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. You can go." She mumbles. Strange I don't find it so cute this time. There's something wrong and I am overwhelmed with a strong urge to protect and hold this beautiful woman sitting in front of me, she's visibly falling apart and thinks I'm about to run out the door any second. She has no idea how wrong she is.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know you're ok."

"I'm fine now. Honestly you needed to go before, before we erm".

"Before we kissed you mean. When I said earlier, I'm here if you want to talk, I meant it and there is no way in hell I am leaving while you are this upset by something I've done."

"No, please don't. it was nothing you did."

"Ok, so this is how I see it. You're going to go in the bathroom, have a shower, and then when you come out, we are going to curl up on the bed. Eat the room service I'm going to order, and we can talk or watch tv. Anything you want to do. We can talk about anything you want. As much as I would like to know what hurt you so much, I can wait until you're ready." I gently kiss her forehead. She doesn't move anyway which makes me happy. I will show her that she can trust me and be here whenever she needs me. I have no idea where any of these feelings have come from. But the woman I have gotten to know is without a doubt the most beautiful, amazing, incredible, perfect woman I have ever met. God, I hate all the cheesy bullshit thoughts going through my head. Trust me these thoughts will never leave my mouth. No one needs to hear that. Except her maybe. When she's ready. For now, all I can do I hope she will go with my plan.

Scarlett's POV

Slowly the fog lifts and I start to see who is in front of me. It's not the ghost I had thought I left in the past. I struggle to catch my breath. The fear and panic still course through my body. This is why I had mentally blocked out men. Fuck, this one had to get past my defence wall. What the hell am I supposed to do now. He probably thinks I'm bat shit crazy. I dare say this isn't the normal reaction he gets while kissing a woman. I'm so fucking stupid. How could I think I could do this. How could I possibly think I can get over what he did to me. Now Jensen wants me to talk. I know I need to tell him something. I need to talk and explain. Even if it's just so I don't look so crazy.

Slowly I nod my head and try to rise to my feet. The whole time I try to move he does nothing but help me. As we get to our feet, I can finally take that breath I've been struggling with. I close my eyes. "I can do that. I want to be honest with you, but I need you to just listen."

"I can do that sweetheart. I will do whatever you need me to."

I can't help but smile and think this man isn't just incredible for his body or the way he looks but also for his heart. I have never had anyone treat me like this. I know I have great friends and I have told then some things. They obviously know some things from the court case. They knew it was hard for me to talk about, so they let me close it all down. It was what I needed at the time but looking at this man I know I can't keep this buried anymore and still live my life. I doubt I will be able to tell him all of it but if I can get some of it out, to someone I will probably never see again I think it will help me grieve. It's strange to think of it like that but there is so much grief buried inside of me.

I reach up and put my arms around him. I cling to him and the feeling of safety he gives me. I kiss him softly on the cheek before saying that I will take that shower now and he can order whatever he wants and charge it to the room, and I will have some nachos.

I take my time in the shower. I feel like I need to cleanse myself. That in itself breaks my heart because I feel like I'm washing away the night I have had with Jensen. I can only hope that when I have finished scrubbing the memories away that he will be sat outside, in the room. I'm torn between wishing he had just left. Left me and my madness without looking back. The other part of me hopes he's lying on the bed, maybe even ready to pick up where we left off. Maybe I just need to push through. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. The thoughts in my head turn to something much more pleasant than the horror show that is my life. I smile at the thought, but I know that isn't me. Casual sex was never something I was into even before all of what happened. Sex was fine but all of my partners had been part of a relationship.

I get out of the shower and dry myself off before realising that I have nothing in the bathroom to change into. I don't want to wear the same dress I took off. I also don't think I can walk out there in a towel. A scan of the bathroom tells me I am shit out of luck. Typical. A towel it is then. There is dressing gowns in the wardrobe just outside the door I can get to one of those easily enough.

Remember the shit out of luck. Yeah, as I open the door keeping my head down, I move forward and straight into Jensen who has just gotten up to answer the door. For fucks sake. At least my towel stays up. They might have something to do with the death grip I have on it. He closes his eyes and tells me he was about to get the door. I explain about the need for something to wear. He grabs the dressing gown out of the wardrobe and passes it to me. I say I just need a minute and back up into the bathroom again,

Sighing I lean back against the door. I need to clear my head before I go out there and rehash the past. Slowly I pull on the robe, I wash up for the night and remove my make up. I guess this is it, I can't hold it off any longer. I walk out the room and see Jensen sitting on the bed in a robe of his own tucking into a huge tray of nachos.

"The idea of nachos sounded too good to miss so I ordered a large sharing tray. I also got this, I hope its something you like but if it isn't I can get something else or if you don't want any that's fine to." Ok this rambling thing seems to be contagious. Jensen smiles at me and lifts up a bottle of tequila. Yeah, I think I might need some of that to get through this.