Tennessee Whiskey AU

CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE

"There's a place, I know about where the dirt road runs out and we can try out the four-wheel drive. Come on now what do you say girl, I can hardly wait to get a little mud on the tires."

                                                                         Jensen's POV

This is fucking awesome. They keep a field free just to do this shit it. They have quad bikes they keep in a shed off to the side. The plan I'm told is to jump on one and drive it around getting all nice and dirty. The others stand at the side and watch. Definitely getting sprayed with mud. This adds to the fun I'm told. The jury is still out on that one but the atv's sound fun. Seeing my girl with a mile wide is amazing though. She looks so happy and in her element. Can I still call her my girl. Arguing with her this morning left a bad taste in my mouth. She knew what I was saying was bullshit. She had to, didn't she? I don't get how oblivious she is. I've told her so many times. I've shown her so many times. But it never seems to go in. I'm not angry just frustrated. I'm falling so far over the edge for this woman. She hasn't got a clue. I'm fairly sure the people who know me can tell a mile away. One look at the guys told me what they thought of the bullshit I told them this morning. I think at this point they just feel sorry for me. They think I'm some pansy ass head over heels for a woman that's just playing with my heart. I know that's not the case. I know she's in this as deep an I am. When it's just the two of us I can feel it. I see the love shinning in her beautiful eyes. She's just so scared. I get why. Trust me. But I'm not giving up or going anywhere. I will fight and do whatever I can until she finally admits she's mine. Not just for now either. I think I might want everything with Scar. I know it's going to be hard. I know that involve saying goodbye to certain things. Kids was never a big deal for me. Yeah it would be nice. There's no saying we couldn't adopt kids. All I know is I would rather spend my life with her and never have children then be with anyone else.

I see her brother walking over to me. I've clocked his glares all morning. He can tell there is something up with Scar but he doesn't know what. He clearly thinks I'm to blame. Which I guess was sort of true. 

"Jensen."

"Patrick."

"My sister ok?"

"As far as I know. She's allowed to have things on her mind. It doesn't have to mean anything is wrong."

"Is that what it is? She's just trying to figure stuff out? Any idea what that stuff might be?"

"Possibly." I say. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this conversation. 

"Has it got anything to do with her fighting how she feels about you?" He laughs a little and gives me a knowing smile at the end.

"Oh, I would say so. Not that she would want anyone to know that."

"Is that what the problem is? I thought maybe she didn't want to tell you, but you seem to already know. I didn't think the problem was telling us. I mean the ones who know her the best, like me, Rob and Erin. from conversations I've had with them already know how she feels. It blatantly obvious to us."

"Well I'm glad it is to you cause she seems to struggle. I don't think it's that she wants to keep it from anyone. Yes, that includes me. Because like all of you I can see it. She just won't admit it. Hell I'm not even sure she's admitted it to herself. I see the look of panic in her eyes whenever we talk about anything serious. It's only for a split second, but it's still there,"

"She's told you everything that happened? Before."

"She's told me a lot. I can't lie to you. She has told me some things that she's said she hasn't told anyone else. I don't say that to piss you off or be a dick. Just so you know she has me. I'm there one hundred percent."