Nikolas

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

My eyes widen when I realized what I had just blurted out.

It wasn't like me to do such a thing. I had never told anyone about myself, let alone what my mother used to make me do. I had no reason to share it but the silence had gotten too loud as he exposed his past to me. I couldn't handle the uncomfortable tension between us, I'd told him whatever had come to mind.

I didn't think it would be that.

His jaw clenches as I look down at my hands, so that he doesn't see me blush. Humiliation and embarrassment floods through me as I close my eyes tight trying to convince myself I died. I'd really appreciate death in this moment.

He doesn't say anything for a while, making the only sound between us be the shitty pop song playing in the speakers above.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I've never told anyone that before, I don't know why I thought I needed to tell you that," I force out nervously, trying to recover.

I look up when silence blankets us once again. He's staring at me.

I frown, wondering if he rethinks his decision of talking to me that he's made a mistake ever even looking my direction. Letting out a heavy breath, I take a bite of my cheeseburger, trying to get rid of the awkwardness between us. It doesn't get rid of the uncomfortable pressure growing in my chest.

"I've never told anyone anything about me, but you make me do shit I don't ever do," he murmurs suddenly, making my jaw drop, once again.

I guess it was 'Surprise June' day.

I blink a few times, wondering if I was really hallucinating, but when I realize he's real and his mouth actually moved I let out a small cough.

"Um, that's, uh, cool," I take another bite of my cheeseburger. His expression goes from cold to amused. It's terrifying how fast he could switch on and off his emotions. If he even had them. I was still convinced he wasn't real and that he was a figment of my imagination. I heard somewhere that people gaslit themselves, making things seems the way they want it to seem. I wondered if he was even human.

"Are you nervous, June?" He asks, a smirk on his lips making my inside flutter. I shake my head vigorously, "No, what are you talking about?" He doesn't say anything, just watching me as I fidget nervously with the paper wrapping the burger.

"What are we doing?" I whisper, shyly peering into his eyes, wanting to see his emotions. I'm not surprised to see nothing, as usual. I don't even know why I try.

He tilted his head, his lips pursed, "Talking, eating a burger," I almost roll my eyes. He hadn't touched his burger since I brought it to the table.

"No, I mean what are we doing with each other?" I didn't know the answer, and I honestly didn't want to find out. I was scared that I was the only one feeling the tightness in my chest when I saw him. That I was the only one with a fluttering stomach whenever he spoke to me.

"I don't know," he says in a bored tone, "having sex?"

My heart drops.

"Oh okay." I don't let myself show him how disappointed I was. Taking another bite of the burger, I don't even appreciate with the embarrassment filling me to the brim. I knew that our relationship was strictly physical, so I didn't know why I was so upset about what he said. Actually, I did know, but I didn't want to admit it.

I like Nikolas Cairo, a lot.

Maybe even too much.

God, this was pathetic.

"You're upset," he claims.

I suck in a sharp breath shaking my head, "What do you mean? I'm fine," I didn't know who I was trying to convince, myself or him.