Nikolas

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

The school year goes by fast.

Maybe it's because I'm so busy. All I've been doing is working my ass off and studying until my fingers and head are numb. There's been nothing interesting going on in my life except for Jonas' constant need to slowly destroy my soul. I've been growing numb to it. It's almost part of my routine now. No matter how fucked up, I've just gotten used to it. I find myself convincing myself that it's not that bad, and that I could be going through worse.

Though I still cry about it, it's not often I just shut down. I still go on with my life like nothings ever happened. Like I'm not slowly rotting inside.

Though my dream was to go to University to continue my education, something that I've been working for since middle school, but I realized that it'd eat into the money I had saved up for Summer. I'd finish sending her to school, and then I can focus on myself. Once she's all taken care of, I'll go back to school and fullfill my dreams. I'm not upset about it, in fact I'm happy to sacrifice my life for her. She's my precious baby sister. Plus, if I were to go to a university, I'd have to live in a dorm which would be incredibly uncomfortable for Summer.

I was planning on working full time and working on making enough money so that I could support Summer through not only her high school years but even her college.

The past few months, I've introduced Summer to Lola, knowing that our plan on living together after school was still on. I was honestly so excited, which isn't something I've been a lot in my life. Summer didn't seem so opposed to living with me, she barely had an opinion on it at all. She was going through that teenage phase where nothing really matters. I understood that.

The problem was, I haven't told Jonas or my mother about that arrangement yet. Whatever they say, I know that I won't let her live anywhere else, so in that sense it didn't really matter.

I had intentions of going against Jonas' connections and power and exposes him along with my mother, which gives me enough leverage to be able to become her guardian. It was an easy enough plan. Though Jonas would probably be untouchable if I tried to do anything right now, I was slowly collecting evidence against him, whether that be from his rival companies, other victims of his pervertedness or from Ashton, it all would come together in the end.

The only thing that wasn't going that well in my life was Nikolas. It wasn't like he completely disappeared from my life after that conversation in the classroom a few months ago, in fact I've seen him at least three times a week, whether that be during classes or when I'm at Lola's. He would be there with Lorenzo, who for some reason is always with Lola. Though I've tried to pry, she always responds with an dramatic eye roll. They're cute though. I haven't known Lorenzo for long, in fact the reason I've even talked to him before is because he's always with Lola, but it's clear that he wasn't much of a carer. But it's pretty obvious that he's terrifying and honestly I don't get how Lola can get away with bickering with him so much.

I missed when I used to be able to be so comfortable with Nikolas. He's left me alone, in fact he acts like I don't even exist anymore. Though everytime he refuses to acknowledge me a part of me dies, it's better than me corrupting him by staying with him. Plus, once I'm completely financially stable, I intend on stealing him back.

I've said so much about not wanting to be selfish, but as days go by, I know that once I have the chance to get with him again, I'd grab that shit by the balls and drag it back to me. The love I hold for him would never disappear, but I don't know if I can say the same for him as I broke his heart.

Too bad, I'll remind him of our love.

It's the only thing that's motivating me these days. Summer has been out of the house most days as she got to an age where she started to see through our mother's bullshit. I barely get to see her. Though it hurts that whenever I do see her she's on her phone or quiet, but I remind myself that it's a phase that everyone goes through. I'm just glad that she's having fun with her friends.