Nikolas

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Lola doesn't let go of me until my sobs calm down and I stop crying.

Instead of getting out of bed, she turns me over so that she could see my eyes. We just stare into each other's eyes, hers running over my features, concern washing over her own. I don't explain anything to her and just appreaciate her presence. I lay my head on her shoulder, and hope that she could hold me up while I'm slowly falling over the edge.

"I'm being such a baby," I let out a choked laugh, pulling away. She shakes her head before leaning in and kissing my forehead.

"I don't know what happened, but there's nothing wrong with just crying your feelings out," she signs, wiping the tear that I just blinked out, "it's cleansing," she finishes. A small smile forms on my lips making me wince when it rips my fragile skin apart.

"You know when you just feel trapped?" I ask her, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

She nods, "Of course I do," she lets out a small breath as if exposing that part of herself pains her, "people say that I don't speak because I don't want to, but my voice is trapped within me, I can't get it out." I entertwine our fingers as if physical touch would bring us both the comfort we needed.

"Your voice doesn't define who you are," I assure her, "just like my problems don't define who I am, I'm just glad to have you with me," I tell her, honestly. The vulnerability in my voice kind of scares me. She gives me a smile, tearing up.

Letting go of my hand, she signs, "There's plenty of shit in the world, but it doesn't matter, we have each other, right?"

I nod, "Of course," I link our pinkies together to seal the deal, "I don't want to trauma dump, but I've had the worst week." I admit to her.

"The only quality I have is to listen, so might as well use it," she signs making me laugh a little.

"My stepfather is a dick. He beats me, and just makes me feel so uncomfortable. But I thought I could handle his fucked-up tendencies since it didn't really permanently affect me," my heart speeds up as I build-up to telling her what happened, "l-last night, he crossed a line I didn't think he would," the words get stuck in my throat for a second, but Lola's patient, she doesn't rush me, instead she hugs me closer to her.

I swallow the thickness in my throat and admit, "He raped me."

She lets out a tiny gasp.

I can clearly see the pain in her eyes. But I don't say anything else, my nose stinging with tears. She doesn't say anything, instead she just tightens her hold on me, and kisses the top of my head. I'm glad she doesn't say anything. I just like that she's here, that I could tell someone. Her presence brings me the comfort that I've been craving since my dad died.

We stay like that for hours probably, I don't know but I kind of want to stay like this forever.

When she pulls away, it's to sign, "Want to run away together?"

I let out a small laugh, "I wish, that honestly sound like the best idea."

"I'm serious, I just want to get out of this hell, either that, or we become duo killers and just kill everyone who's done us wrong," that sounds so tempting.

"As nice as that sounds, we only have a year of school left and then we can move in together and cut off everyone."

She smiles, "You have yourself a deal."

...

The girls end up coming over.

It was sweet seeing them fuss over me, looking over my wounds, cleaning them up and patching them up. It was a little uncomfortable since I wasn't used to having people actually care about me. But it all made me take back the thoughts of being all alone. Knowing that they were there for me gave me the comfort that they needed.