Nikolas

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Everything hurts. 

There's not an inch of my body that has gone untouched as burning pain shoots through all of my blood vessels, making it impossible for me to move. My head was pounding and my mouth was dry but the taste of blood was still so fresh. It made a disgusting shiver run through my spine. 

I'm going to vomit. 

Just as I think it, the contents from my stomach lurches up and I force my body to sit upright so I can expel it onto the floor. Fuck, that's gross. The acidic smell of it invades my nose, stinging it. It burned my throat, making it even harder to breathe as I stare at the pile of goo that I'd just thrown up. It's rank. But I don't really care. I feel worse on the inside. 

My stomach is still churning as I can still feel his hands all over me. My skin doesn't even feel attached to my body and I'm light-headed due to all the blood that I'd lost. I hoped that this was the end for me. 

The pain was a reminder of what I'd just gone through. And maybe it would lead to peace, where I'd be left alone for eternity. 

I don't realize I'm crying until I taste a warm tear. My face hurts so much I couldn't even recognize the salty tear hitting each wound. My vision blurred as I curled into myself, trying to physically hold myself together. I felt all over the place. Like my limbs would come loose at any second, like my head would fall off my shoulders and my heart was jump out of my chest. 

Jonas left hours ago. I don't know how longs it's been since he pulled up his pants, a cruel smirk on his face and walked out of my room as if he didn't just kill me on the inside and spit on my corpse. I was dead inside. There was nothing in me that could muster up the courage to let the light shine through as I lay on my bed, not being able to move. Not being able to think. Not being able to breathe. I could still see him on top of me. I can still feel him between my legs. 

My soul was ripped apart by him and I couldn't do anything about it. 

I feel hopeless as the sun sets, reminding me that the world didn't stop just because mine died. 

...

Cracking my eyes open in the morning, I don't feel any different. I can barely see through the pain as every part of my body feels like it was burning. 

I still feel everything. I'm not numb like I usually get when he attacks, instead I feel even more exposed. As if I was skinned raw. I want to just forget about it, but all I can seem to be able to do is cry about it. This time it was different. Though the other times he laid his hands on me it was all just physical hitting, this time, he violated a part of me that I couldn't get back. 

A part of me that I would never be able to enjoy again. He grabbed my soul by his hands and just squeezed it dry. There was nothing left for him to take anymore. He'd taken everything. I was just an empty shell, ready to just be left alone in peace in darkness. Somewhere I didn't need to wake up the next morning and power through. Somewhere I didn't need to feel every second of the pain that I'm in. 

There's a soft knock at my door and my whole body tenses up, making me wince. 

"Um... June?" Summer's voice is muffled. I know she won't be able to walk in since Jonas apparently locked my door for me, but I can still feel my heartbeat picking up at the thought of her seeing me in this state. I only wanted her to see me strong. 

Looking at the clock, confused on why she wasn't at school, my eyes widen to see that it was four in the afternoon. It wasn't morning, it was almost evening again. 

"S-Summer!" I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's just my baby sister who I've dedicated my life to protect and shelter her from the nasty shit that the world throws at you. She doesn't say anything for a second, trying the doorknob again. When she gives up, realizing I won't open it, I want to cry again.