From Barcelona To...

Chapter 78 - I Needed You

Ellies P.O.V

As soon as I step outside I breathe in the fresh air. A few big deep breathes. And then I walk. And don't stop. I don't know where i am going, but I don't care either. I just need to breathe. I needed to get out of there.

Liar.

That word ringing around my brain, that's what she said. That's what Leah said to me. That is one thing that I'm not. I'm not a liar. I never have been and I never will be. Fuck. Leah and I were perfect. Perfect. Or so I thought. She doesn't trust me. She doesn't trust me one single bit. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do about it. I've tried, I've done everything I can to make Leah trust me. Ive not so much as looked at anyone else. I've done nothing but love her. And all this time, she hasn't trusted me. And do you know what? I knew this was going to happen.

Flashback to this morning:

Lilly and I were walking out of the hospital

"Thanks Lilly" I say

"You don't have to thank me, I'm just glad your ok"

"You didn't have too, I appreciate it, thank you" I smile

"You know there is a picture of us leaving the club?" Lilly says quietly

I sigh. Knowing exactly what that means.

"Fuck"

"Just tell her the truth" Lilly says as she places her hand on my arm

"She will never look at me the same again"

"Of course she will, it wasn't your fault Ellie"

"Do you know who it was?"

"No"

"If you didn't turn up when you did, god knows what would have happened"

Lilly looks at me with a sympathetic smile. I close my eyes as the flashbacks come back to me from last night. There hand tugging my belt, their lips on my neck. It sends shivers down my spine and not in a good way. It makes me feel sick. It makes me angry at how little control I had, how weak I felt. How there was nothing I could do about it. Leah will just see me....she will just see me as broken now. I don't want the sympathy. I need to be back in control of myself. I'm not weak.

"She will think we slept together you know" I sigh, as I rub my hand over my face

"I'll tell her"

"Do you know what Lilly?"

Lilly looks at me

"You might have too. That's the worse thing"

Lilly doesn't say anything.

"You can't tell her about what you saw"

"What?"

"Don't tell her"

"Ellie" Lilly sighs

"I'm not asking you to lie but please. I will tell her. Please, no matter what. Don't tell her"

Lilly nods reluctantly.

I hug Lilly before she gets into her taxi "Thanks Lilly. I mean it. Thank you"

End of flashback.

——

I've been walking for what feels like hours. In fact it has been hours.

My heart was in my mouth when Lilly started telling Leah what happened. Please don't tell her. Please don't tell her. The words circling my brain. A sigh of relief escaping when she didn't say what she actually saw. I had every intention of telling Leah, everything that I could remember but when I walked in and saw Beth, Viv, Amanda and Leah all staring at me, I couldn't do it. Not that they actually would have let me get a word in edge ways anyway, even if I wanted to tell them. I couldn't.