Georgia On My Mind

21

ROME POV

All I saw was Georgia.

Every time I went for a run down the canal I would see a woman with long light brown hair and think of her.

I swear I heard her laugh in a bar and saw her face in every crowd.

One night a busker was playing guitar and singing the song "Mine."  I went straight back to my hotel and cried until I fell asleep.

I had ruined everything.

How could I say I loved her when I walked away so easily?  Why didn't I communicate?

I knew why.

I always chose the easy way out.  Not facing Georgia, pushing ahead toward what I wanted without caring about anyone else.  The choice I made was done exactly how I had made decisions before I came home.

Do what I want, when I want, then deal with the consequences.

I spoke to my Dad a couple times a week but Mariah refused to answer any text, email, or call.  I didn't reach out to Georgia, but saw Titus post a few pictures on Instagram about a week and a half ago.

My breath caught when I saw her face with a group of my friends, smiling as she lifted her beer.

It wasn't a real smile.  It wasn't the smile I saw when we had jam sessions, performing whatever songs my sister requested.  This was not even close to the smile I saw on her gorgeous face when we spent late nights talking by the pool.

The smile in that photo was empty.

I tried to ask my Dad how she was but he did not share much.  She never got on the call when I FaceTime'd and I heard Scout crying in the background a few times as well. I heard her singing from the other room one night and screen recorded the call so I could listen over and over again.

It was the Taylor Swift song, "All Too Well." One lyric in particular made every fiber of my being ache.

"Maybe this thing was a masterpiece, til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well."

Everything had been ruined, and it was my fault.

Again.

Ever since college, my life had always been a pursuit of adrenaline. I chose to come home and thought I was ready, but took the first chance I had to feel the excitement of travel again.

I had been terrified. In so many ways, I still was. There was so much I should have done differently...

My plane was close to landing so I double checked my camera case and laptop bag before sliding them into the overhead bin. A small black box was tucked next to my chargers and I let out a shaky breath when I thought about the purchase.

I was on a run one evening about a week into my visit and passed a jewelry shop that was still open.  My gut screamed that I had to go inside so I followed the impulse.

The stunning diamond ring in a rose gold setting I chose reminded me so much of Georgia. Understated beauty, radiating light without trying too hard.

Different. Like she said when Kayla was criticizing Scout, more people should be different.

Georgia would most likely never speak to me again.  I had to reconcile myself to the fact that my poor communication and willingness to chase the rush of a new adventure caused this to happen.  Forcing more than she was ready to handle was also unhealthy so I would wait.

I needed to be patient.  She was worth that much at the very least.

We would be in the same house again but I would not push or make this harder on either of us. For all I knew she had moved on, anyway. Considering that option made me nauseous. I spoke to Titus and he mentioned dragging Georgia out of the house but it sounded casual. While that was a relief, I still had no idea how she felt.