He meant everything to her. Three years later and she'd still do anything to keep him safe, sacrifice everything to protect him- even if that meant keeping him at an arm's length.
She was the one person who truly knew him. The one person he'd choos...
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Peia lay on her bed, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Her hands were resting on her stomach, a quiet ambience filling her cabin. Finnick was off somewhere, probably meeting with Coin or visiting Katniss, while Sawyer was talking with Boggs or doing something related to his duties on the team. She honestly didn't know where either of them were and she didn't particularly care.
It'd been almost three weeks since she'd been rescued. That also marked three weeks since her older brother's death. Her tears had stopped a little bit after that second week, guilt replacing all feelings of sadness. It was her fault. Everything that had happened had happened because of her.
She hadn't told anyone she felt this way, though, since none of them would understand. They'd just tell her that it wasn't true and that she didn't have to feel that way. But she did. She had to feel that way, because it was the truth.
Things had been fine between her and Finnick, but she knew she'd hurt him. At this point, he honestly should've been expecting pain from her. It's all she knew how to do, right?
If it wasn't him, it was Lily. She was the reason her husband was dead.
And if it wasn't Lily, it was Sawyer. She was the reason his son was dead.
And if it wasn't her dad, it was Kai. She was the reason he'd been tortured by the Capitol for the past four years.
It was her. Every bad thing that had ever happened to her family was because of her.
"Is your favorite color still blue?" Kai suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.
He was on the floor, her pillow underneath his head while she lay above him in the opposite direction on her bed. He'd come in a little over an hour ago, honestly just missing his sister. And they'd just laid there in comfortable silence, neither of them saying a word.
Peia stayed where she was, eyes still stuck on the slate gray ceiling. "Yeah. Is yours still orange?"
It was silent momentarily. "I think." Kai responded, mind wandering. "I haven't really thought about it in a while." He paused. "Like the ocean, right?"
She smiled, letting his words bring back memories of home. "Right." Then her heart squoze in her chest, guilt lodging itself underneath her skin like a parasite.
"I miss it." Kai continued, a wistful tone to his voice. "I miss it so damn much. If I could, I'd be back on the dock or on the beach or—"
He fell silent as his older sister sat up, face buried in her hands. His brow knit together as he sat up next, confusion filling his features.
"P, what's wrong?"
Her hands dropped back in her lap, a hardness behind her eyes as she met his concerned gaze. "I wish I would've died in that arena."
