Inferno | Draco Malfoy

046 | Strange Affection

Oh for heaven's sake. Umbridge strikes again.

It's a bloody Friday morning and the previous decree of 'boys and girls are not to be permitted within blah blah blah of each other' has changed. Again. Originally, it was a six-inch distance, then it became an eight-inch distance and now it is officially a fourteen-inch distance. I repeat, fourteen. Nearly doubled the second change. I am not allowed to get any closer than fourteen inches to a man. At this point, she might as well make it a rule to not fraternise with each other at all.

The reason for this reformation was because of, surprise surprise, Blaise and Daphne. They decided it would be a brilliant plan to snog inside an empty classroom. Guess what classroom that happened to be? The Defence Against Dark Arts classroom, the exact one Umbridge teaches inside of. She came into that classroom, screamed at the sight of Blaise's hands underneath Daphne's skirt and kicked them out. Of course they got a sanction. Polishing the trophies in the trophy room for a month. Umbridge is petty so naturally, she put Filch and Mrs Norris in charge of inspecting the room every week.

Now, I don't find this rule significant. I mean, it's better than music being banned. Then again, I've got to remind myself that there are couples, or almost couples, out here who are outraged by this decree. There's more and more complaining heard behind me as everyone reads the, now, thirty rules. Mind you, most of them are ridiculous. One of the newest and most peculiar educational decrees is twenty-seven.

'Any student found in possession of the magazine, The Quibbler will be expelled.'

The Quibbler has been trending recently. Copies of Harry Potter's interview with the magazine have been circulating around the school. In this article, he talks about what really happened the night Cedric died and elucidates his strong personal claim on the return of You-Know-Who.

I guess that was the breaking point for Umbridge. She banned any conversations related to Cedric's death.

The magazine itself is pretty controversial anyway. Mr Lovegood is the publisher and editor of it. I specifically remember reading a few editions. One of them had to do with Sirius Black. According to the tabloid, the Azkaban escapee — who still hasn't been caught — is actually the lead singer of an old and retired band, The Hobgoblins. Yes, that's right, Sirius Black is apparently now Stubby Boardman.

The second article talks about the Minister for Magic, Fudge or "Cornelius 'Goblin-Crusher' Fudge" as he cooks goblins in pies. I wonder how Umbridge must've felt, her lover did get bashed in the paper.

"Hmmmm." A mysterious girl hums beside me. It takes me a second to realise who she is. A fourth-year Ravenclaw with messy, long blonde hair and big grey eyes.

Luna Lovegood, Mr Lovegood's daughter, continues to stare at educational decree number twenty-seven with much curiosity.

She reminds me a bit of Malfoy with her physical characteristics, apart from her height since she is a lot shorter. They could be loosely related. I mean the Malfoy family is connected to quite a few families — through marriage.

Thank God my ancestors didn't have the bad enough taste to marry hoar blonds. I love my dark hair with a passion. Seriously, Malfoy definitely can't compare to me when it comes to hair. His ancient-towheaded self can kiss my arse.

Luna Lovegood gets picked on quite often for her eccentric behaviour and beliefs, some people call her "Loony Lovegood" which in my opinion, is childish. What I mean by eccentric is that she is convinced made-up creatures such as the Blibbering Humdinger and Nargles exist. All sorts of stuff her father believes in and writes about. So what if they believe in that rubbish? We all have different views. Who knows, maybe they'll prove us all wrong one day and Nargles actually do exist... I highly doubt it though. Still, there is no need to pick on the girl and call her loony.