Inferno | Draco Malfoy

090 | Stages of Grief

Time no longer exists.

At this point, do I even exist?

For the first days, I cried. Cried all day and night until I had exhausted all my tears; even God seemed tired tired of my constant weeping out of sorrow. Then, I lost my appetite and my motive to talk, sleep, move and just get out of my bed in general, for I felt constant chest pains, physical strains, and troubling shortness of breath.

In such a short span of days that seemed like an eternity, I had been through it all, all the cruel stages of grief one could feel. I was in denial, hoping that the news was fake, though of course, they announced it to everyone and I heard the applause despite being outside. I resisted the truth and didn't want to believe that any of it was real; I even hoped for reconciliation between us.

When I kept thinking about his betrayal, I wanted to punch him, slap him, yell at him. I was angry the night I found out, so angry I wrecked my room with my bare hands and force instead of throwing a few curses from my wand. I was a mess and started bargaining with both past and present.

Why wouldn't he love her? She's not stubborn, she's fun and exciting, like a burst of spontaneous energy with big brown eyes and red hair. He said he liked the colour red on me, perhaps it was because the red reminded him of her, the girl he must have spent time with in private company.

What if they snuck out and met up a few times at night? What if he was just like another Cormac McLaggen but with different intentions? He was a hypocrite. He's engaged to her, it's only a matter of time before he marries her. And yet I'm the stupid one for never admitting my feelings, what if I did? What if I told him? Would that have changed anything?

My mind was nothing but antagonising me throughout these past few days. I had pleaded with God too, praying that perhaps I might wake up to realise that this is all just a nightmare. I felt ashamed and a complete fool for thinking that I could trust him. An utter fool.

Now, I have hit rock bottom. I feel nothing. I have grown numb to the pain. And that is worse than feeling my emotions, at least I had a purpose.

For days on end, all I've been doing is rotting in my bed like a corpse. Not even the good weather and warm temperature here can cure me. Nothing can. All I can do is curl up in a ball in my bed and stay there in silence. Not even my mind can think any more, for it has been overworked.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I sigh, throwing my blanket above my head and curling up even tighter. It is one of my family members again. They have been trying to convince me to get up for far too long. The door opens, and I hear numerous footsteps at once, signalling that it must be all three of them.

"Adria, you need to eat." Camden's voice is heard as he sets a tray, presumably of food, down by my nightstand that was once filled with piles and piles of tissue.

I feel a shift in my bed and a hand starts caressing me through my blanket; it must be Mum.

The sound of my curtains being drawn open annoys me and I lift my head from under the blanket to see a sparkling white figure. The sun is blinding my eyes and it becomes worse when the sound of the windows opens, which annoys me further. I use my hand to block the rays, realising that I have not seen sunlight for a while. The white figure comes to sit by my bed, next to Mum, it's Dad.

I turn around, not wanting to face them, only to be met with Camden's face on the other side of my bed. With a frustrated sigh, I throw my blanket over my head again.

"Adria," Dad says as he starts to yank my blanket. "talk to us, we are here for you, you know you can't continue hiding away in your bed forever."

Despite my mouth not wanting to talk, I do. I whisper, "Leave me alone, you know why I feel like this."