Inferno | Draco Malfoy

099 | II | Closure

Using my arm to clear the condensation from the bathroom mirror, the foggy surface slowly starts to reveal the contours of my face. I remove the towel from my hair, letting the damp strands fall loosely down my back, all the while I gaze at my reflection.

And for the first time in my life, I am unhappy with my appearance. The person staring back at me feels like a stranger, someone I barely recognise.

I press my fingernails into my skin, the slight sting grounding me at the moment as I observe the dullness that has overtaken my complexion, as though the vibrancy of life in my skin has been drained away, a consequence of the insufficient daylight I have been meeting recently. The limited time I have outside and the long, grey days have seeped into my very being, leaving me feeling as lifeless as the winter landscape outside.

My fingers then glide over my lips, which, although they do not appear so, feel parched, for the texture of them is rough and dry, a reminder to not take the once smoothness I had for granted. I cannot help but notice that my eyes, once radiant and lively, now seem less appealing, their green tint dulled and nearly subdued, as if the hues have been washed away by time or misery. I delicately pull back at my eyelid, seeking the glimmer that appears to have disappeared, the sparkle that used to be alive in my gaze.

Finally, I observe the few forming wrinkles and bumps on my forehead, each crease and texture serving as a record of the stress I have been experiencing. They tell stories of the war in my mind, which wrestles with anxiety, and moments when the weight of the world felt too heavy to bear, and of the countless times I have held back tears, choosing instead to deal with my problems since I cannot be complaining.

And I know that the reflection in the mirror reveals not only my physical visage but also the burden of unspoken emotions, for I have been so consumed by my thoughts, which persistently and heavily circulate in my mind like an unyielding tempest. Hell, I yearn for a way to silence them, even if it means resorting to drastic measures. Each thought crashes against the shores of my consciousness, relentless and restless, stirring up even more thoughts that refuse to settle down.

All I long for, is a moment of peace, a fleeting escape from the tide of my own thoughts.

I exhale deeply, the air escaping my lungs like a heavy sigh of resignation, as I conceal my face in my palms, while the familiar warmth of tears begins to form in my eyes. I know that I have failed to attend to my appearance and that I have been neglecting it, as my hair falls down in front of me like a curtain, hiding me from the outside world.

As I look up at the mirror again, I start to observe my hair, recognising its beauty — the way it catches the light and the way it frames my face so perfectly — but at the same time, I feel as if it is a commitment weighing me down, a reminder of the chaos swirling in my mind.

The weight of my emotions suddenly becomes too much to handle, and in a fit of frustration, I rummage through cabinets and drawers, my fingers trembling as they search for something — anything — that might provide me with a sense of control, like earlier when I had Selwyn apologising to me.

Finally, I find a pair of scissors, their metallic sheen glinting in the light as a surge of adrenaline courses through me.

Without hesitation, I grasp the scissors tightly, feeling the cool handle against my palm. And within a matter of seconds, the sharp blades deftly glide through the strands of my hair with a soft snip that echoes in the bathroom. As the first lock falls away, tears begin to stream down my cheeks, a bittersweet release of pent-up emotions that I can no longer contain.

The act of cutting my hair is cathartic; with each snip, I experience a sense of liberation, as if I am discarding the emotional weight that has been suffocating me for far too long. I watch as the hair falls away, landing in the sink and on the floor like forgotten memories, each lock representing the burdens I have borne for all this time.