angel~dallas winston

Better This Way

Mackenzie

"We need to get you out of the house," Darry said. "I'm good Darry, really," I said. "You're a bad liar Kenz," Sodapop said.

"Besides, if you stay cooped up all day it's gonna make you feel worse," Ponyboy said. I sighed and agreed, throwing on a new outfit and getting ready for the day.

"You look beautiful," Soda said,  spinning me around.  "I'm gonna take you to the dx with me alright?"

"Okay," I said. I followed him outside and we started to walk, due to the fact Darry and Ponyboy left with the car. "Do you regret it?" He asked. "I don't know," I said. "I really care about him, it just seems like in the long run, we're gonna do more harm than good,"

"Maybe, but you want to be with him right?" He asked. "Yeah, I do," I said. "Don't you wanna find out then?" He asked.

I looked at the ground and kicked a rock as I trailed further behind him. I looked across the street and saw a few guys in the alleyway. There was a fight happening. I looked at the guy on the ground, and saw the brown leather jacket as two guys attacked him. "Sodapop, that's Dally," I said quickly.

Without a second thought, we both ran across the street to them. "Hey get off of him!" I said. Soda grabbed onto one of them and shoved them off as Dally got on top of the other guy.

They fought back and forth until another got out of Dally's grasp and grabbed me.

"Let go of her or I'll kill you," Dally seethed. "Let her go man," Soda said. He let go of me and Dally attacked him. I tried to pull Dally away and he elbowed my eye. I held onto my face as Dally looked at me. Fear covering his entire face as the other two guys ran. "Kenz I- I'm so sorry I didn't mean to,"  Dally said.

"I'm alright, it's okay," I said. "What happened?" I asked. "They jumped me it's whatever," He said. "Did they jump you or did you provoke them?"
I asked.

"Don't do that," He said. "Do what?" I asked. "Act like you have that power over me," He said. "What?" I asked. "The power to make me do something reckless," He said. "You didn't and you don't," He said. "Okay," I said. "Then I don't," I sighed. "Fuck man," He said, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips.

"I have to get to work," Soda said. "I'll be there in a minute," I said. He took the hint and walked away. "Dallas," I said. "Mackenzie," He replied.

"I'm really sorry," I said. "For what?" He asked. "For the way things went down last night," I said. "It's cool," He said. "I want you in my life," I said. "I don't," He said. I felt the tears burn my eyes as I held them back. "I'll respect whatever you want," I said. "But please, if you're mad at me, tell
me, or if you hate me for breaking up with you just let it out, I just want you to know your feelings matter too,"

"I don't fucking need you, Mackenzie!" He yelled. "I've only ever needed myself alright? You dating me for a couple months hasn't changed that, stop getting it in your head that we were in love, we weren't, the only reason I stayed with you is because you're hot and a good kisser!" He screamed.

His face was bright red, I didn't know whether it was with anger, or if it was from his recent beating, but it was red. His eyes were glossy, as if he would cry, but they were dead. No emotion hid behind the gloss. None that he was showing. He was good at hiding his feelings. But maybe there wasn't anything to hide. Maybe he really didn't feel anything for me. 

"Is there anything else?" I asked. "Yeah," He said. "We all know that you have a thing for Sodapop, but do yourself a favor and give up, no guy is ever going to want you for anything more than your looks,"

"I don't have a thing for Sodapop," I said. "I have a thing for you,"

"That's just too bad isn't it?" He asked. "You dumped me but it was a blessing in disguise," He laughed. "Go fuck yourself," He hissed through gritted teeth. "Okay," I said. A single tear rolled down my cheek before I turned to walk away from him. I walked away quickly as the tears poured faster with each step.

Dallas

Once she was out of sight, I went back into the alley way and slid down the brick wall and to the ground. I rubbed my eyes hard and took a deep breath. If I let her in, she'll hurt me. She already did. So I have to push her away. It's for her own good. And mine. If I let her hurt me, I'll hurt her back.

I didn't mean anything. I just can't be near her without feeling like I'm having a heart attack.

Maybe she was gonna ask for me back and I'd have been fine, but either way, I still could've gotten hurt again. I would've hurt her. I just did, but if she hates me it's easier.

I wiped my eyes, stood up, and went back home. It was better this way. Better for her.

i'm sorry the update took so long i've been so busy and going through sm shit lately pls forgive me