angel~dallas winston

Feel

tw: mentions of alcoholism, drug addicts, abuse, abandonment, murder, and gang violence

Mackenzie

"Alright it's gonna be painful for awhile until we can take the stitches out, so don't go gettin' into any trouble," Darry said. "Alright, thanks man," Dally said. "Thanks Darrel," I said. "I'm gonna go back to Bucks with him and clean up the glass,"

"Okay, just call if ya need anything," He said. "Thanks," I said. I drove Dally and I back to the bar and took the key out of the car.

I looked at Dally's wrapped hand and looked up at him. "I love you," I said. "You don't need to say that," He said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "That you love me," He said. "My pops is right, I'm not loveable, everybody leaves,"

"Dallas, I love you, your father is an asshole, and he is definitely not right, you are extremely loveable," I said.

He didn't say anything else before getting out of the car and going inside. I took a deep breath before walking in. "You got a broom?" I asked Buck. He nodded and handed it to me. "Thanks," I said, walking up to Dally's room. I grabbed the garbage can and put the dust pan onto the ground, sweeping the glass into a pile. I put it into the dustpan and dumped it into the garbage can.

"You don't need to do that," Dally said. "No I don't mind," I said. He sat down on his bed as I finished cleaning up the mess.

I sat down next to him and grabbed his hand. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I asked. "Yeah," He said. "If you wanna talk about it-," "I don't," He interrupted. "Okay," I smiled. I kissed his head and stood up. I walked towards the door. "When I was 6," He said. "I walked into the kitchen after school and my ma was passed out on the couch,"

I turned around and looked at him. "I went over to tell her I was home, and the first thing she did when I woke her up was slap me in the face,"

I sat down next to him. "You don't need to tell me this if you aren't ready," I said. He shook his head. "That was the first day I realized she wasn't just a lazy mom," He said. "I was just a little kid man, I mean, I didn't know what the hell was wrong with her, but I knew it was somethin' you know?"

I nodded. "She was always so gone," He said. "I don't think I have a single memory of her being sober,"

"Are you sure you want to tell me?" I asked. He nodded. "I gotta get it out," He said. "Okay," I said. "I'm here to listen," I added. "Most kids don't even realize when their life is messed up, nobody talks about it, especially not in New York," He said. "My pops would tell me she was fine and that I didn't need to worry, she'd do the same about him,"

"She started hitting me everyday, I'd say one word and I'd get my ass beat, then one day she packed up and left," He said. "Did things change?" I asked. "Yeah, for better and worse," He said. "Better?" I asked. "Well I wasn't getting beat left and right," He said. "And worse?" I asked. "My pops would send me on his errands, I'd have to get him alcohol like everyday, sometimes drugs, I got caught up with some older guys along the way," He said.

He took a deep breath. "It was a gang, an actual gang, but since they were all older and they told me they could help me all while keeping me safe, I trusted them, I mean I was only a kid," He said.

"It was some real messed up shit Kenz,"

"It's okay Dal," I said. "I'm not here to judge you," I replied, squeezing his hand. "They'd give me the beer my pops asked for, and I'd run errands for them, eventually one of the errands for me in some trouble," He said. "What kind of trouble?" I asked. "I was about 13 when I'd showed up to drop off a...package for them," He said.

"Drugs?" I asked. He nodded slowly. "They didn't get the amount they asked for and it pissed them off, I called a few more guys over to help me out, a huge rumble broke up between my guys and theirs and a kid ended up getting killed," He said. "Me and a guy were the only ones left behind with the body and I had to find my way out of looking guilty since I didn't kill him, but it didn't look good for me," He said.

"My friend took the fall for me after a few weeks of hiding, and when I asked to leave the gang they let me, I ended up stealing money and beer from stores for my pops until we eventually moved here," He said. "That's just the short version,"

"Look at me Dallas," I said, lifting up his chin. "It's okay, you made mistakes, but you didn't know any better," I said. "You were only a kid,"

"It's okay to have regrets and make mistakes because now you're learning from them," I said. "You just have to let yourself cope, just close your eyes, take a breath, and feel," I whispered. He laid his head in my chest. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he started to cry into my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing his head, holding him tight. "I love you Dallas Winston,"