vi: Esoteric
❝limited or private❞
Day [3]
Cross legged and curled up in bed, I watched the sun slowly rise. Streaks of yellow, orange and light blue filled the dark room as the minutes ticked. Beauty and light filling the room in such a short period of time. I guess I had grown quite accustomed to waking up early here. It wasn't that I wasn't comfortable here in your room... Because, truth be told, I felt the most comfortable here. Your black shades and all, the black walls and wooden floors, the brown polished cabinets and- I, of all people wouldn't miss it -your scent lingering in the momento filled room. But everywhere I looked, the office chair you had, the corner of the room, the window seat... Everything had a memory, everything had something and maybe that's why I couldn't sleep because it was like you were in the room.
The door creaked open revealing a newly woken Aunt Lisa, a tired smile gracing her lips.
"I didn't know if you were awake." She warmly belowed.
"I, uh, I just did." I lied.
"Hmm..." She mumbled whilst looking around the hall.
"May I?" She asked reffering to entering the room.
"Considering this is your house, sure." I said sending her a smile.
She smiled walking in and sitting next to me after closing the door.
"Look, Julie... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry if their giving you a hard time. It's just. When you left your mom she missed you, but that's not the reason why she's mad. She loves you. Really. She does and I don't think I'm in the right position to tell you the rest-" She started.
"No, no. It's okay, I understand why their mad. It's okay." I said.
A tired sigh escaped her lips as she looked around the room. Her eyes stopped at a picture displayed on the beautiful, antique, wooden cabinet. Your head was facing upward slightly, you were laughing boisterously in the picture, a beautiful wide smile displayed on your face, you were shining in glee. I remember you telling me about that picture... I did, and I didn't know if you knew that. I didn't know if you'd remembered telling me about that but I did, I always will.
"I don't really blame Greyson for treating you that way, Julie. I'm not saying I support him either. But what you did was hard on him. I understand that you needed space and time and you didn't think it would've worked out but.. He loved you and-" She mumbled.
"Aunt Lisa, it-it wasn't like that," I mumbled, "That wasn't what happened." I whispered.
"Look, Aunt Lisa, I understand... Really, I do. You don't need to apologize for what you didn't do. Because I understand," I said.
She sent me a sad smile staring at the floor.
"Look, uhm, Aunt Lisa I'm going out for breakfast and I'm going to just roam around for the rest of the day." I mumbled awkwardly.
"Sure. I'll let you get ready." She answered.safe
I offered her a small smile before she closed the door behind her.
After she left I didn't stand up to shower, nor did I change or comb my hair or do anything to get ready. I cried. I cried that day, once again crying for my mom, for you and my family... But most of all, all the memories.
That day nothing much happened, but that was the worst part. Because each step I took, I heard my heart tear and rip. But the most sickening part of all of it was... It kept beating. And maybe I didn't realize it then.. But you were the one that it kept beating for.
{A Moment In Time}
The soft, beautiful melody of his breathing sent cold shivers down my spine as I stared out to the dark ocean. The fire was only a small spark now, a flicker in the sand. The moon the only source of light shining upon your pale, white face. A loud howl was heard from far away, but it was enough to scare the wits out of me. Do you remember that time? I was scared... but you were there and nothing else mattered.
I felt safe just humming an unknown lullaby, it was something my mom used to sing to me... The rest of the night I was creeped out. Because the fire eventually went out and more howls were heard. Do you remember that? Do you remember when I clutched on to you for dear life... Because I felt so safe with you. Because I do. Always. I will always do.
❝And loving you is like eating red velvet cake. First you eat all of it, the second time you savor it, and the third time it's just obsession. And then you start realizing you can't live without it and that's why I feel sick because without you, I feel significantly empty.❞
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50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)
FanfictionThere are instances in your life when loving someone greatly isn't enough. When letting go becomes a must not because that particular someone isn't good for you but because you aren't good for him. Julianne feels utterly and completely conflicted. I...
