50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ t w e n t y - f o u r } : late night drives

xxiv : pedantic
❝unimaginative, dull❞

[Day 29]

It's twelve in the morning. I still can't sleep... Try napping for a straight seven hours after just waking up. Who knew berry berry pancakes could put you to sleep like that? Imagine overdosing on berry berry pancakes... How many would it take to kill someone do you think? I think that would be a pleasant way to go wouldn't it? An eat all you can berry berry pancake feast... That sounds just wonderful... Great. I'm hungry now. 

I sighed, turning over my head buried into the pillow.

"Berry Berry Pancake." I murmured.

I didn't notice that you'd slipped in until you started laughing, "Exactly what I was thinking."

I turned over, "Go away. I still hate you for waking me up this morning." I murmur, half my face stuffed by pillow.

"I did not! You woke up because of berry berry pancake." You accused, your eyes narrowed at your lack of ability to wake me up.

"Ha! See? I love berry berry pancakes more than I love you." I teased.

"Hmph. If I didn't feel the exact same way I would  tickle you right about now."

"I know..."

Silence filled the room as we we're left alone to our own thoughts of berry berry pancakes that got me more and more hungry.

"I'm hungry..." I whined, finally turning over to face the ceiling.

"Me too." You grumbled.

"Food." I called.

"Food." You confirmed like the idiots we are.

"Hmmm... Mina's?" I offered, once again rolling over to face you.

"Mina's." You grinned pulling out the car keys from your pocket.

I smiled, getting up from the bed, pulling my boots on and putting my sweater on. I stuffed my phone in my back pocket and we tiptoed down the stairs. We got to the door and you pulled your coat on as I followed suit with your leather jacket. 

You smiled at the sight of your jacket, "I should be stealing that back since I don't feel disgusted by you anymore."

I pouted... I'd grown to love the feel of the jacket.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It looks better on you anyway."

I shoved you with my shoulder to the right, "Meanie." I accused.

You laughed after shoving me back.

Mina's is a twenty-four hour diner a town away and the ride usually lasts about an hour if you speed up, but even before you never would... You loved taking long meaningful drives with me, especially after a long day.

"Remember when you lost that soccer game during sophomore year?" I asked. 

You smiled, "Yeah... I kidnapped you from your room at ten at night while you we're revising for mid terms AND you still brought your reviewers."

I laughed, "What do you expect me to do, fail?" I answered.

"But you still came and you barely touched you're reviewers." You said, glancing at me with that killer smile of yours.

"I got a A- for math that time!" I screeched.

"Only you would be mad about an A-" you clucked, "But you still kept me company. You still agreed to let me kidnap you at ten at night, and with a stolen car!"

I laughed, "You're exagerating. You we're crying like a baby what was I supposed to do? Plus the car was your brother's and he almost always let you use it."

"Now YOU'RE exagerating." You answered.

I laughed, a permanent smile plastered on my lips.

Silence once again filled the car, the comfortable kind, the kind that we shared constantly... 

I flicked the radio on and the beginning notes of Shake it Off start to play.

I grinned and sang along, the sweet melody of your laughter filled the car as I kept singing along, dancing to the music. You kept laughing glancing at me make a fool out of myself. But it was MY JAM. MY JAM. No one has the power to stop me when I start dancing to my jam.

"AHHHH! Make it stop! My ears are bleeding!" You plead though the twinkle in your eyes says otherwise.

"Yeah, right! You love my voice!" I say continuing to wiggle in my seat.

"Hahahahaha! It's like listening to a walrus die." 

I pout, "Suuuuuuuure! Admit it you lurveeeee my voice!" I shout.

"Hahahahahahaha fine fine, if it's stops your singing I will." You say.

"NEVAHHHHH! The haters gonna hate hate hate hate!" I screech.

This lasts until the music trails off and we're still stuck there laughing like idiots and I think... This is what shattered me when I left. These moments, you, your laugh. All this shattered me... Missing these things shattered me. Having gone through so much when I moved to new york and not having you to call to comfort me and drive me to Mina's at two in the morning. These are the things that broke me and had me clutching onto Ingrid all those night for peace. 

I missed you... That's all there was to it... And feeling this again. I'm scared of losing it all over again... I don't know what I'll do when I go back to New York. Go back to my old life... 

I feel a hand grasp mine... I look up to you... I hadn't noticed that the song after shake it off had ended and keane started singing the lyrics to the famous song somewhere only we know. You hummed along with the song before glancing to me.

You flashed me a small smile, "Hey... You okay there?"

I looked down at our hands then out the window not having enough strengh to pull my hand back.

"Yeah... Just tired."

I felt your hand leave mine and I felt the cold seep back into my hand, I clenched it, forcing myself not to feel disappointed. I felt something soft drop onto my lap and saw a pillow there. You smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Go on... Take a nap... I'll wake you when we're there. We should be there in thirty if I speed up." You say with a warm smile.

I nod, "You sure you won't be lonely without me talking to you?"

"Julianne you're forgetting I've had years of experience." You say, but you're not looking at me anymore, the warmth in you're smile's gone.

My eyes widen in surprise but I ignore it and take the pillow from my lap. Positioning it to fit the curve of my neck, setting it against the window. 

I close my eyes as keane sings...

"This could be the end of everything so why don't we go... So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know..."

And a tear slips from my eye.