50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ t h i r t y - f o u r } : Everything

Play: Every Breath You Take (covered by Aaron Krause feat. Lisa Anne)

Listening to this song just breaks my heart. It's just so fitting to the chapter and to how Greyson is throughout the whole story how captivated he is with Julianne. Writing this chapter (albeit twice because I accidentally deleted the first version) brought tears to my eyes as I listened to the song. I strongly advise you guys to listen to the song as you read this chapter.

xxxiv : Everything

❝all.❞

[Day 41.9]

The days that we spent at the cabin flew by fast after that scene. You avoided me like the plague and everyone had seemed to notice but said nothing about it. I was okay with that. I didn't want to see you either. Each time I did, each time I saw how dead your eyes were, how so empty they looked, like you just gave up I felt awful. You didn't even look pained, you just looked empty, cold, like you'd just given up, like you accepted it all. Seeing you like that, knowing that my stupidity, my carelessness had caused that had me wanting to fly back to New York. But not without my mother. Okay, I admit that it wasn't just that. Maybe I felt like the longer I could postpone this... The longer I could postpone New York was more time close to you, even if we were avoiding each other. At least I knew you were just there. Just so close.

It was our last night at the cabin and tradition was that we all stayed in the living room in front of the fireplace to spend time together. We all filed out of our rooms and chose our places around the fire place. Tanner and Samantha took the love seat, Mom, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Scott took the couch. You took one of the arm chairs and I sat on the floor next to Alexa.

"I have cookies baking in the kitchen that will be done any minute now, and a pot of cocoa on the stove, so who wants to serve this time?" Aunt Lisa says, a teasing glint in her eyes knowing the utter laziness of us all.

Alexa smiled, "Julianne and I will do it." She offered giving her mom a smile back.

I suddenly remembered the shoes she had been pining for at the mall that she begged her mom to get for her before we left Edmond. Ah. I got it, she was using her tactics.

"I didn't volunteer for anything." I said jokingly.

"C'mon!" Alexa says pulling on my arm, "Be the best friend you're supposed to be."

I fake groaned and got up, sending a smile to Aunt Lisa who was very amused at how Alexa was acting to get the pair of shoes she'd seen on sale.

Everyone started to get back to telling stories and Alexa and I walked off to the kitchen.

"I got the cookies, you can be the one to handle the cocoa." She says and I get right to it, opening up the cupboard for mugs and grabbing the ladle from the drawer.

Silence spreads between us as we quietly do our work. Alexa, placing the cookies on a plate and me putting the cocoa in the mugs.

"Julianne?" She calls.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"I saw what happened with you and Greyson that other day." She said.

"Oh..." I say quietly.

"And I thank you for protecting him. For stopping it there. I wouldn't know what he'd do if you left again without saying goodbye." She said.

I grew quieter.

"I didn't say goodbye."

She looked at me questioningly.

"I told him we couldn't be together."