50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ s e v e n } : take a walk

vii: Diaphanous

❝delicate in nature and form❞

[Day 4]

I stared out the window sipping my cocoa. I watched as one by one the lights turned off in each house... I watched as people started coming out of their houses to jog. It was ten after six and people were starting to decend from their beds. The Chance residence was quiet and void of any kind of noise as I continued to sulk. Everything in me was shattered, broken, I felt so tired and I didn't know why. Maybe it was the crazy dream from last night. Or maybe it was the scary feeling of being alone. Forever. The desolate feeling that takes over you like rain dripping from the sky or the smile on your face.

I guess life is like any other thing in this world. Infinite and sad, perpetually bringing you down like the tide of an ocean, but you strive to survive. You hold on for the sake of holding on. You live for the sake of living. But there is still a few some, that strive to live and not to survive. Those who live in the light and not in the dark, live in a dream not in reality. And I wish I lived in a bubble, shielded from the world. But bubble's pop and not long do they survive. And like any other thing in the world, people die, people stop trying to survive and let go... And maybe that's why I fear life and not death. Death is something to look forward to and not shamed upon. 

Once, though, I thought the opposite. When I had you things were different, and things were a dream. And I was in a bubble, but as I said all bubble's pop. And I did pop, and I fell... And it was like waking up, and entering reality and realizing everything was just a joke, a silly old game life played. And it was like drowning, and breaking like shattered glass, perpetually broken and never could be fixed again. May be put together, but pieces have been missed and lost and there's always something, someone missing. And it's like living with your glass half full and never whole.

And somehow I wished I was in the bubble once again, with you, living a life of innocence and love. But how could I expect that from you, when I broke what I was supposed to hold?

{Moments 'Till The End}

I closed my eyes willing for the tears to go away, I couldn't do this now. I was tired of the shouting, I was tired of the tears and the heart break. I tilt my head up to look into his eyes, they're closed his hand rubbing his temples in attempt to calm himself. I sigh...

"I don't want this anymore." I told him.

He sighs and takes my hand, "Don't do this." He whispers.

"No. I've had enough of this-this," I wave my hands to prove my point, "whatever we have..." I say.

He's frowning now, "Give me one more chance. Let me redeem myself... Let me fix this. One more time." He told me.

I sigh and give in as he pulls me into his arms, holding me.

"One more time." 

❝our mind is not our own.❞