50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ t w e n t y - s i x } : tea talks with Monica

xxvi : perplexity
❝the state of being perplexed❞

[Day 31]

It's been two days since we've been to Mina's and we've been avoiding each other like a plague. I guess.. For all those words to have been said and to have the courage to say all those things, to express emotions so openly and without any hint of reservation, it had had to been 12AM. I can't think of any other time for that to have been appropriate. We would be too shy to utter those words in utter daylight, especially after wanting to move on from it all and forget the past. "Friends" we said.

I sigh inwardly as I walk about the living room book in my hand. I felt restless somehow... Trapped inside the house. I continued reading the 127th page of Northanger Abbey as my mind buzzed with thoughts far from it. I wondered how long it would take me to finish the page considering I've been on it for the past 10 minutes. It's an utter waste of time to read when you have no more brain space for understanding, you're head already too busy with thoughts.

I flopped my self onto the couch and dropped my book onto my face, my head braced against the leather couch.

"Urghh..." I grumbled, not knowing how to handle my thoughts, or myself. I wasn't understanding nor comprehending how to get myself out of the lethargic state I was stuck in.

The book fell of my face and I once again grumbled.

"Why? Why do I have to be me?" I once again asked myself silently.

I heard footsteps coming closer to the door and you entered, book hanging from your left hand.

"I- uh..." You began when you caught sight of me.

My eyes widened, "Uhm-" I began as I was to get up.

"I didn't know you we're here..." You said, semding me one last retreating shy glance before retreating back up the stairs.

I dropped back onto the couch and once again...

"Ugh."

An hour later I decided to take a walk and make myself busy. Everyone else was anyway. You we're somewhere upstairs and I wasn't planning on going up there and having an awkward encounter with you. Aunt Lisa was out running errands, your brother and his girlfriend went out, and your dad was at work.

Mom was sleeping, today was one of her weak days... Days when all she did was sleep all day, because of lack of energy to get up. It seemed like her body had only the strength to fight her cancer and only that, apart from that.. Well.. Nothing. I wasn't thinking about it. I didn't want to think about it.

So I went and took a walk. The town was bustling as every shop played Christmas songs and some early present shoppers hauled their bags around. I loved Christmas. It seemed like anything was possible during this time of year. It felt like everyone was unified this time of year... And everyone no matter what their differences become one in the event... it was refreshing. Everyone just seeming to be nice not because they we're obliged to but because it was Christmas.

I kept on walking when I saw a little girl drop her beautiful red ribbon. I bent down to pick it up when as I reached for it, another hand did so too.

I looked up and found Monica bent down too...

I smiled, "Monica!"

"Julianne! Hi.." She greeted.

"Hi... Uhm.. I was just going to return the ribbon to the little girl.." I trailed, holding up the ribbon I'd picked up before she did.

She smiled and looked down at the girl hiding behind her right leg, peeking at me.

"Anna.. What do you say?" She asked.

"Thank you.." The little girl said hurriedly before grabbing the ribbon I handed her.

I smiled at the little girl, "You're most welcome, Anna."

"So.. Is Grey with you?" She asked rocking on the heels of her feet looking from left to right.

"Oh no... He's at the house."

"Oh. I was just wondering, he hasn't been texting these past two days.." She blushed.

I offered her a smile hoping it was a reassuring one, "I know he'll text you soon, just you wait."

She smiled, "Hey would you be interested in joining us for some coffee at that coffee shop over there?" She asked pointing at a small cozy looking coffee shop at the end of the street lined with shops.

"Sure... Why not?" I asked following her as she clutches Anna's hand, leading the way.

~*~

We entered to small cozy cafe, the warmth spreading through me and enveloping me, making me sigh in delight. I sniffed the air and smiled at the mixing smells of coffee and tea. Anna shook Monica's hand away and raced to the lady behind the counter.

"Mom! Monica's brought a friend!" She reported to the middle aged looking woman behind the counter.

She had one of the warmest smiles I'd ever seen.

Monica smiled encouragingly at me as she dragged me to the counter.

"Hi Mom. This is Julianne, my friend." Monica introduced.

Monica turned to me, "Julianne, this is my Mom... Kate." She said smiling proudly.

They seemed close.

"Hi Dear, just call me Aunty Kate." Monica's mom said before offering her hand for me to shake.

I gladly took it and offered her a smile, "So.. What would you like to drink today? It's on the house." her mom said winking.

"Oh I don't want to intrude-"

"Oh but you aren't sweetie. Any friend of my daughter is never an intrusion. Now pick your drink." She said cheerfully. I realize now where Monica got her personality.

"Well... if you insist.. May I have some earl grey please?" I ask.

"I want some hot cocoa!" Anna calls as she flops herself onto one of the sofa's nearby.

Monica nods as her mother does to and she tells me to find a comfortable spot as Monica and her mom prepare the drinks.

I pick a seat a row away from the window at the far back of the cafe where all the warmth is and drape my bag on the chair and watch Monica.

She's graceful in her movement.. Like she's done all of this a thousand times before. She is a sweetheart. She's kind and generous, she's cheerful and sweet. She's outgoing and beautiful... what's not to like?

I sigh and drag my eyes away from her and out the window.

I guess I'd rather have you end up with someone I know will take care of you.

A minute later a hot cup of tea is placed before me and I immediately warm my hands around it as Monica sits before me and Anna flops herself on a seat in the middle. We're forming a semi circle towards the window.

"How old is she?" I ask Monica.

"Five." She says, gazing at her sister adoringly.

Rarely do I see such a loving older sister but I share her sentiment.

We sip our drinks for a moment before I speak.

"So... Tell me. Do you like him?" I ask.

She looks up at me and blushes, "Huh? Who do you mean?"

I smile at her even though it hurts.. But it's something I have to do.

"You know what I mean.." I tell her teasingly.

She blushes even a deeper shade of pink, "Yeah... I do.."

"That's good to know." I say.

We sip our drinks once more.

Silence consumes us before she speaks words that almost have me choking on my tea.

"But I know you do too."