50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ n i n e t e e n } : christmas fever

xix : love

❝unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another❞

[Day 22.7]

Sat around the dinner table we share idle chatter and small talk as we eat.  Everyone has something to say, everyone has something to be excited about, everyone has news.  Except me. I finish my dinner and sip my drink, before Uncle Scott coughs to get our attention.

"I have news." He says simply, sitting straighter.

We all avert our attention to the front of the table where he sits.

"We're all going to the cabin for Christmas.  It's tradition, and since we have Julliane and her mother here.  We're going to take them with us."  Uncle Scott announced.

Everyone exploded into excited conversations about what to bring and what to do there and so on.  Except us.  You and me, I mean.  We just stared into each other's eyes knowing what had happened a couple holiday's back.  We found each other.  And it was love.

After dinner, you went upstairs, saying you had to find something in the attic.  I didn't know what it was, but you were up there for the rest of the night.

I sat down on the stairscase, three stairs up from the ground floor.  It was quarter to twelve and I still hadn't gotten to sleep.

You startled me when you stepped out of the kitchen a mug craddled in your hands.  You stared at me for a while before walking up the stairs, stopping where I was, towering over me.

"What are you doing still up?" You asked.

I stared back into your eyes, finding it impossible to look at anything else.

"I don't know... I just couldn't sleep." I replied.

You nodded, looking tired, "Oh."

"Sit next to me." I blurted out.

Suprisingly, you did.

Silence spread between us and I searched for words to keep the conversation going, words to stop you from climbing those stairs and treating me like a complete stranger again.

"Greyson... If it's not too much to ask for... Can we be friends again?"

Stupidity.  Desperation.  That was me.  Stupid, stupid, how could I be so stupid?

You stared into my eyes, I couldn't look away.

You stared at me for a good long while... Your eyes staring into mine like you were searching for something.  I just didn't know what it was, but I would gladly give it to you whatever it was.

"Okay..." You said and it shocked me.  Your words shocked me.

"Really?" I asked, my voice weak, shaky.

"Really." You said before going upstairs, leaving your mug, on the third step, with me.

I wish I had stopped myself.  I wish I hadn't complicated.

❝lovers are desperate for love.  they find it and they crave it, and they wish for it.  they choose to get hurt and love again than to just let it go like the rest of us.  they're desperate for it, and that's because they've found something real, real but painful.❞