50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ t w e n t y - t w o } : roller coaster

xxii : standstill
❝a moment when all motion or activity is stopped.❞

[Day 27]
"You are such an idiot." Monica laughs as she says this, walking into the living room with you next to her.

I look up from my book, momentarily disturbed from my reading, you're smiling like you've won the lottery, and Monica seems to be enjoying your company. So I go back to reading. I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of avoiding heart break. And no. It is most definitely not a priviledge to get my heart broken by you, Greyson Chance. You've done that once already, didn't really go that well, so no.

I continue to read as you and Monica take a seat on the couch together, completely ignoring my presence on the love seat in the far corner, deep in a conversation about how much of an idiot you are. Still not interested, I think to myself. Though the fact that I've been reading the same sentence for the past three minutes contradicts that statement.

"I'm so not." You say laughing along with her.

"Oh yes you are," Monica responds continuing to laugh like it's the end of the world and as if it was only now that she saw me there she turns to me, "Right Julianne?" 

I look up from my book after pretending that I was deeply consumed in the sentence I probably have memorized after five minutes of re-reading it. 

"Huh?" I ask, though already hearing the story five times since you've arrived, the tale of you being an idiot.

"Greyson's a total idiot, isn't he?" Monica asks grinning.

I supress a sigh and nod, "Yeah! Totally!" I say, mentally rolling my eyes and coming back to my favorite sentence.

"See! I told you!" Monica says grinning in an I-told-you-so manner. 

My gaze moves to you and you look crushed, betrayed, basically like a kid who lost his favorite stuffed toy.

"You-You traitor." You pout.

I grin picking myself up from the love seat sauntering towards the exit of the living room, but not before ruffling your hair and bolting for my room. I laugh as I hear your footsteps follow close behind and in seconds I'm over your shoulder and you're hauling me back down the stairs. I laugh, screeching for you to bring me down knowing well enough that you aren't going to do that until you've reached the right location.

You drop me on the couch and drop yourself in between Monica and I laughing your bum off. You seem to think it's funny to haul people around over your shoulder.

But your laugh's to contagious not to share so I start laughing and soon Monica is too and we're rolling all over the floor just laughing together and even though she's there... I feel good. I feel happy. I'm okay, this is going to be okay, I start telling myself. 

We sober up and Monica needs to leave and I pretend that I'm not happy she is. 

We stay on that couch after and it's a strange feeling... You know how you feel when you get off of a roller coaster? That feeling when you just feel like jumping up and down again and again because you feel so giddy from the excitement of the ride and it's just building up and you can't keep still. That's what it feels like when I'm with you alone these days... It feels like I can't keep still... I kept thinking to myself that maybe I shouldn't be so giddy, I felt like I was laughing too readily at your jokes, or responding with such a weird tone of voice... But I'm always like that around you. I wish I wasn't but I always am. 

I watch you play one of those stupid frustrating games on my phone and I watch your face... How so many emotions flicker through your eyes as you lose or win the game, how that bump in the middle of your to eyebrows has reappeared from scrunching up your face. And then... BAM. You turn to look at me and there are your eyes again... And it feels like I've just gotten over the excitement... All I feel is like I want to go again.