50 Days Of Grey (#Wattys2015)

{ e i g h t } : survive

viii: thwart

❝succesful in the art of opposing another❞

[Day 5]

In the wild, it has been proven and said that animals fight for the right to be the head. The alpha of a pack. Not only for food, power, or a more comfortable living style but to survive. To survive the harsh life of living in a jungle, or in our case life itself. I guess you could say that the Omega doesn't really get the best part of the deal. Being in the bottom, being pushed around by everyone. But you have a choice, you always have a choice to fight for the right of being something more than that. I wish humans could be that optimistic. I wish we were brave enough to over throw those who stand in our way, or stand over us. But were weak, and scared, and afraid. And I guess that's why we don't tend to live, we just survive. 

I guess I'm the same though, I'm so afraid of standing up to my dad, or my mom, or even you. Because.. I'm afraid of losing everything. Everything because of stupidity or mere idiocy. And then I look at you. You were always the brave one. If we were in the wild I'd guess you'd be a beta or even an alpha, because you always were so strong. Always fighting for what you believed in... And I wish I had that, because if I did. I would still have you, I would still have someone worth living for. I guess surviving was harder than I thought. 

Footsteps were heard from outside your bedroom door, shouting and calling among them. 

"Julie! Lunch time!" Aunt Lisa called from down stairs. 

A sigh escaped my lips as I snapped out of the daze I'd been in. 

"I'm coming!" I shouted, searching for the pair of flip flops I'd left somewhere near the bed.

I groaned, as I saw one half under the bed and half not. I bent down on my knees grabbing the flip flop and searched for the other. I let my hand search the dusty floor underneath the bed. I looked down and found it.

I smiled, "There you are." I said pulling at it and noticing a box next to it. I stared curiously at the dusty old box labeled 'prometheus'.

I took my flip flop and grabbed the box along with it. I blew the coat of dust that covered the cardboard box and coughed. 

"Your a dusty one." I muttered as I proceeded to opening the box.

A gasp escaped my lips as my eyes widened at the sight of the contents that filled the box.

I ran my hands through the countless Polaroid photographs that crowded the side of the box. I picked one up, blushing at the way my face looked. I was eating in the picture, my cheeks blown up from the amount of food I was stuffing into my mouth. I guess I really did eat like a football player.

I picked another one up, it was a picture of the two of us. You had your hands wrapped around me, the background showing you're fairy light lit living room, as we swayed to the old christmas records we found in the basement. 

I sighed putting them to the side, catching sight of a familiar piece of clothing. I smiled sadly at the red coat I'd left here right before what happened between us. It was bright red and smelled like it hadn't been used or washed in a year or two. Your sister bought me that for my birthday a couple of years ago. I loved it, and you knew that because I wore it everyday.

My hand searched the other contents of the box when it hit a cold surface. I grabbed the item and stared at it teary eyed as I'd remembered I'd given this music box to you a year back. It was a congratulatory gift for reaching double platinum on your new album. You were so happy that day... The smile illuminating your lips, never leaving for one second. And we celebrated that, we went to the diner downtown. The one that we always went to. Our favorite one.

We ate there with your family and the crew and everyone else who was important to you. But the best part of it all was when you brought me home and I gave you, your gift. I remembered I wrapped it with wrapping paper that had different colored pianos all around it. And when you opened it your eyes lit up... It was a miniature piano and it's lid was closed and when you opened it our song played. 

I sighed as I lifted the lid, Claude Debussy's Claire De Lune filling my ears... I closed my eyes and leaned against the bed, tilting my head backwards, clutching the piano in my hands... The day we decided that it would be our theme song still as crystal clear to me as if it were yesterday. Your eyes bore into mine as we stood there, in the kitchen at two in the morning. I'd had a little sleepover with your sister. You had found me there, sipping some Earl Grey, on the island. I'd told you how I couldn't sleep without a cup of tea, and you chuckled asking me how I took tea. I told you I took it with no sugar nor cream, I loved it plain. And I asked you why you asked. You told me that in the future you'd be making me tea... And I stared into your eyes and whispered 'future' questioningly. You had smiled and just nodded, turning on the radio in the kitchen and shuffling towards the refrigerator, in search of food.

The radio announcer announced that he was going to play, Claire De Lune. Your mom loved to listen to classical in the morning, so it was on the easy listening radio station permanently. You left the refrigerator and we danced. You had offered your hand and I so graciously took it, almost falling of the counter top. We laughed as we danced, dancing there to Claire De Lune, the refrigerator light being the only source of illumination in the room. Then you whispered so quietly that this would be our song... You explained to me that there were no words to express what we had and the rapid and slow portions of the song were the good and the hard times we'd experience in the past, present and future. There were no words nor lyrics in Claire De Lune but I understood what he you meant, that we were like the soft, gentle and hard playing of the piano. Alone and desolate yet filled with life and love and emotion. 

A tear escaped from my eye as the song finished. I closed the lid carefully and placed it back where I'd found it. Placing it back into it's place... 

I truly missed the old times... I truly did, and I guess the world really is about surviving. But I wouldn't mind if I'd be surviving with you.

{A Moment In Time}

I remembered the time when you called me prometheus. It was Latin for small and I hated it. I hated that you were oh so taller than me and that I only reached the tip of your nose.  You had laughed and told me it was alright... You told me that there was an advantage to it. I asked you what it was and you told me that, that way I could here the fast beating of your heart every time you hugged me. And you told me that I'd here a very rapid, frantic beating because you always felt so happy and overjoyed and nervous around me. And I laughed then, shoving you to the side telling you how corny you were. And you just smiled telling me that you knew I'd never let you get away with what you just said, and I'd tease you everyday. But then you added that it was okay as long as it made me smile. And it did... You always did make me smile, just the sight of you made me smile.

❝and i dream about you, and i hope you dream about me too...❞