Notorious

Unrequited

"I can't be with you, Louis."

The once vibrant smile is wiped away almost instantly, but I can't possibly bring myself to feel bad. His eyes drop to the table and mine scan the small restaurant partly as a distraction, but also to make sure Liam is still at his post at the bar.

His enthusiastic wave and thumbs up are all the assurance I need.

I had brought him along as moral support and an anti-Louis barrier, because knowing me and knowing Louis and knowing us, I would be bent over the sink in the bathroom by now if we were left alone.

"But, why?" Louis pleads, hands clasping mine across the table.

I almost scoff at the question because shouldn't it be obvious? But, these past two weeks with him had been like a blast from the past and I haven't exactly denied his advances. But, now these nostalgic flashbacks need to end before someone gets hurt.

And I have no doubts that it would be me.

"You hurt me, Louis," I sigh and then shake my head to clear it, "No, scratch that. You fucking ruined me. You manipulated, degraded, and cheated on me repeatedly and with no remorse until I left you. You knew how much I loved you and you used that to your advantage. What kind of person would I be if I just went back to you after all of that?... I deserve better."

Get back to me when you gain some self-respect.

Louis hangs his head in shame as my voice cracks, but I let no sympathy show. I should've done this a long time ago. I should have laughed in his face when he first suggested we get back together.

But, I was blinded by the idea of being wanted. I was so easily persuaded to give him a second chance just because he offered me something no one in my whole life had done -he had offered me love.

But, Harry's words yesterday resonated with me and snapped me back to reality.

It also may have been Avery's scolding.

"Get your act together, Aspen. You were basically the twat's puppet. Is that what you want to be again? No. You need to find someone else to frickle frackle with that deserves you. Someone to butter your muffin, spank the monkey, do the horizontal bop, watch Netflix and chill, pollinate-"

I cut her off there because it was honestly getting ridiculous. The girl could've gone on forever about sex, but she did have a point about one thing.

I may still love Louis, but I am no longer in love with him and I don't think I could ever be again after the way he treated me.

I'm about to say this to the man himself, but my buzzing phone stops me and I roll my eyes at the message -Avery and Liam really are made for each other.

The Devil's Spawn: Is it done yet? Is he crying? God, please tell me he's crying. Should I come over and kick him in the cahones for good riddance?

I glance up to catch Liam staring at us very seriously, assuring me that he would follow through if I did say yes. However, I shake my head slowly and almost laugh as his shoulders deflate in disappointment.

Louis, on the other hand, is far from laughing.

"I could be better for you, Aspen. I could be the man you deserve if you just gave me another chance. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me and I was a fool for hurting you like I did. I need you."

I'm shaking my head before he even finishes speaking because it's pointless to me, "That ship has sailed, Tomlinson. I can't... I won't be with someone who made me feel unwanted. I've done it my whole life and I refuse to do it anymore."