Notorious

Finifugal

*EARLY UPDATE SO MAKE SURE YOU READ THE LAST CHAPTER, "Closure" OR YOU WILL BE CONFUSED! ALSO IT'S HELLA LONG SO GET SOME SNACKS AND TISSUES AND PLEASE COMMENT THOUGHTS! ALSO MAKE SURE YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG ATTACHED SO YOU CAN CRY A LOT! (It's a cover so if you have the actual song by Adele, listen to that.*

H

I was nervous at the trial.

The type of nervous that makes bile rise up your throat and your palms clam up uncontrollably and makes you feel as if you're on a rocky sea voyage because your stomach won't stop turning and you're unbelievably dizzy.

I was nervous at the trial.

But, now, standing above the woman I'm in love with and waiting for her to grant me permission to sit... I'm more nervous than I have ever been.

And that thought almost makes me laugh because there is no way I should be more nervous around a girl than I was on trial for murder. And yet... I am.

Because the trial ended up in my favor (thank god), but how this will end up?

I'm afraid to know that answer.

I really hadn't been expecting her to come, I hadn't even been expecting her to come to the hearing. But, that didn't stop me from desperately searching for her at both. But, now I'm confused and slightly worried about her intentions.

When Zayn had told me she was here I almost didn't believe him. I didn't want to get my hopes up again only to have them stomped on by her vintage Chelsea's. But, then I actually saw her walking along the shore and I all but ran away from the groupies to just catch a glimpse of her.

But, now, Aspen doesn't even glance at me –just continues to squint out at the vast ocean as if she can find the answers to the universe in the almost blackened night waves. She takes another swig of the dark liquid in her bottle as I just stand above her awkwardly.

Her chestnut hair flares across her makeup-less face in the wind, but she doesn't bother to stop it. Her much-too-big olive sweater exposes her tanned shoulder and her bare feet are almost completely covered in the grainy sand.

She has never looked so gorgeous.

Her mouth remains tightly shut, but once she swallows, wincing slightly, she holds that bottle up and out to me and I take that as an olive branch.

I grab the bottle from her grasp, sitting on the sand next to her, but not too close. My heart hammers wildly in my chest and my nerves paired with the few shots I've had make me slightly dizzy.

And even though the tension in the air is almost palpable, even though she hasn't spoken a word, even though I'm almost positive she hates me...

This is the happiest I have been for over a month. Happier than I was when they declared me not-guilty.

Again, there has to be a deeper-rooted issue there.

"Do you wanna hear a joke?"

It's been a long time since I've gotten to tell her a joke and I really just want to hear her call me an idiot again.

Out of the corner of my eye I see her lip tilt up in a small smile, "Always."

"What did the hotdog say after the race?"

Finally, finally she glances at me. Her hazel eyes are more of a soft brown than they are green and they are slightly sad when she squints at me, but there is a smile on her face, "I don't know, what?"

"I'm a wiener!"

She shakes her head dramatically, though I can see her biting back a grin, "Idiot," Her laugh is breathy and weak, but the word slips out in a fond and endearing tone.