Notorious

Revitalize

It's the kind of silence that is deafening.

Full of unsaid words that have been bubbling at the surface for much too long and thick with tension for what is to come. A silence that is much too loud to bear, but neither is sure how to or who should speak first.

Though, I'm not surprised that he does nor am I surprised by his words.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

And that line alone almost has me laughing because it is such a Harry thing to say and although he was looking at me with darkened eyes and moistened lips from in between my thighs just ten minutes ago, he sits across from me now with a goofy grin and nervous eyes.

"Never from you."

"You wound me, Munchkin," Though the grin on his face suggests otherwise, "How do you make Holy Water?"

"Please, no."

"You boil the hell out of it!" The punchline is accompanied by an elevated voice, a sharp bark of laughter, and –dear god- an actual knee slap.

Except his laugh actually makes my chest warm and I really know I am so screwed when an actual chuckle falls from my lips at the joke. What have I become?

"That was so bad."

He wipes a tear from his eye, bicep flexing, and I suddenly thank the lord he decided to put a shirt on, "C'mon I know you like my jokes."

Ah, fuck it, "No, I don't like your jokes. I like you," And the smile is instantly wiped from his lips and the fluttery feeling I had in my stomach now feels like daggers, "Well, maybe not so much after that terrible joke."

But, Harry doesn't join in on my laughter, instead his face has twisted into pure confusion and hope and his reactions are really freaking me out.

This morning has definitely not gone according to plan.

Harry was supposed to come in here and lay everything out onto the table –good or bad- and we'd move on from there. But, instead I woke up to thirty missed calls from my brother and Avery and then Harry waltzed in here half-naked sporting morning wood. And with a wolfish grin and dirty words and fingers like Indiana fucking Jones, he seduced me. Again.

And now we are dancing around each other because Harry is terrified for some inexplicable reason and I am even more scared and confused from the past 24 hours because all I can recall is:

Harry at the bar with Amanda – Harry getting jealous that I was with Louis – us playing Never Have I ever and Harry being a dick – que screaming match in the street – Harry's confession from fucking nowhere – and then I somehow ended up in his bed.

Never a dull day here in London.

"You like me? After everything that's happened?" He sounds astonished, way too astonished for my liking. Though, the smile growing on his lips is partly contagious.

"No, I just slept with you last night for shits and giggles," Okay, I have really gotta tone down the attitude if I want to go anywhere with this conversation, "Yes, Harry. I like you, way too much if I'm bein' honest. Though, I really shouldn't after all of the shit you pulled."

And the once child-like wonder fades into guilty pouting, but I only feel slightly bad for putting it so bluntly. Slightly.

"I don't even know where to start... Do I apologize again or explain?"

"I'd rather slit my throat than hear you apologize again – I need an explanation before I even can start to believe that you're sorry or that you're falling for me like you say."