DNS

Part 14 - Everything has changed

Returning to my home felt strange, I was alone.

The day the hospital called about my Dad I packed my things and I left Charles' apartment, I couldn't stay there and deal with what was going on between him and I, aswell as being so helpless just hoping and praying to hear of an improvement in my Dads condition.

His condition didn't improve.

The next call I get from the hospital, is to tell me me that he has passed away. And a bill.

In that moment I felt like my heart was ripped from my body, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move.
I didn't get to see him at the end, I didn't get to say goodbye.

I just can't hold it together anymore. I'm all alone in this world and my brain instantly just starts to think of practical things to avoid dealing with the fact he's actually gone - how do I arrange a funeral? What do I do next? Who do I need to tell? All these questions rush over me like a wave I'm drowning under.

I need a drink.

I think three maybe four days have passed, I'm not entirely sure but I need to get more alcohol from somewhere, I've had my phone turned off and I've not left this apartment.

I know I'm 21 and yes I'm an adult but nothing prepares you for this, nothing has prepared me for being alone or knowing what to do in this situation. He was all I had left.

I jolt as one of the many glass bottles I've emptied roll across the floor as the front door swings open, it's Charles standing there.

As soon as our eyes meet tears explode from me and I drop to the floor, somehow I just know he knows. His arms cradle me, my knees to my chest as he somehow covers my whole body with his arms just holding me tightly.

Suddenly I don't feel so alone anymore.

C: "Je suis désolé d'être si égoïste mon amour, I didn't know. I'm here now and I'll never leave you alone again I promise."

I don't want to move from this spot, I feel safe and for a moment like all of this isn't real. He continues to hug me tightly for what feels like forever just planting an occasional kiss on my forehead.

C: "But we do need to go now - I've made arrangements for everything, please go and have a shower while I clean up a little in here and I'll explain everything when you're done."

He's taken care of everything.

I still don't know how he found out, or how he's went ahead making all these arrangements, but within an hour we're sat on a private plane heading to Austin to collect My Dads coffin.

It still doesn't feel real.

We arrive in Austin, no one can leave the plane it simply gets refuelled for the return journey, we see my Dads coffin loaded onto the plane from the windows, and suddenly we're back in the air.

It all seems to just be happening, like I'm not here. But just knowing he was back with us on this plane even though I couldn't see him, brought a sense of relief and ease to me, he was no longer alone in a place that wasn't home.

The pilot announces that we will soon be arriving at Manchester Airport - I look at Charles confused, I assumed we were returning to Monte Carlo.

That's when i realise.

My Mum is buried here. I'd never even visited her grave or been back to England since we left for Monte Carlo. But this is where he would have wanted to be laid to rest.

I just don't know how Charles would know that.

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Ok quite a heavy chapter here but I'm trying to portray the real story and not just skip over realities! Hope you enjoy - next chapter out tomorrow.