DNS

Part 39 - Austria

I really can't believe he forgot.

I wouldn't be as upset as I am now if he'd just told me he had so much going on that he'd forgotten and would make it up to me.

Instead, he went out of his way to tell me he hadn't forgotten, making it out like me being on this plane and meeting him in Austria was the plan all along.

The lights glisten below as we make our descent into Vienna airport. Finally we're here. All I want right now is to go to sleep - I've never felt so drained in my life.

At least it's quick getting out of the airport. A driver is waiting for me as soon as I get off the plane. My bags are packed into the car and I'm finally on my way to Charles.

It's 1am right now and I notice the estimated journey time on the drivers sat nav as we begin our drive - 2 hours 37 minutes. He has to be joking.

I'm slowly getting more frustrated and I'm SO tired. Charles thinks dragging me to Austria at this time because he feels guilty and then having me sit for a 2 and a half hour car journey is going to in any way make me happy?

I'm going to arrive at the hotel close to 4am, what was the point in me coming here tonight? I can tell now more than ever how last minute these plans were made.

"Excuse me do you mind if I go to sleep in here? could you just wake me when we arrive please?" I ask the driver.

"No problem miss."

Thank god - I just need rest, hopefully I'll wake up slightly less angry than I am now.

A little confused I open my eyes as my arm is being shaken "we've arrived at the hotel miss, would you like some help taking your bags inside?" The driver asks.

"No thank you I'll manage" I tip the driver and thank him again - I don't imagine he wanted to drive this journey either.

The hotel is beautiful, lots of greenery and glass, abstract art and sculptures at the entrance as if it were a gallery. I sit down in the lobby area and call Charles to let him know I've arrived.

No answer.

He must be joking.
I call again, five times - no answer.

"Excuse me do you have any rooms available for the night?" I ask the lady at the hotel reception.

"I'm sorry we have nothing available until Monday night." I should have assumed - there's not many hotels around here and everyone from every F1 team is probably staying in this one hotel. I just need to sleep.

"Lilly?"

I turn around hopeful as I hear my name. It's Lando. What? Why is he awake and just so happens to be here.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

I don't know what came over me but I couldn't do anything other than burst into tears. I'm so frustrated and stressed and mainly so so tired that my emotions just completely overload.

"Woah come here, what's going on?! What's happened." Total concern in his voice as he just hugs me for a moment trying to calm me down.

"Nothing I just really need to go to sleep Lando." I respond, sounding completely defeated and exhausted as I wipe the tears from my face.

"Ok one second." He walks over to a vending machine to get a couple of bottles of water - I'm assuming that's why he was out of bed at this time. Walking back over to me he then picks up my bags. "Come on, you can sleep in my room I'll take the sofa" He says as he guides us towards the lift.

I forgot I was even annoyed with him in this moment, it was far outweighed by how thankful I was that he was here, and that I wasn't going to be stranded sat in a lobby for who knows how long.

"Thank you so much Lando."

The lift opens directly opposite his hotel room door, which thankfully means no more walking. I just want to collapse on this bed. There's a huge bed in the room, and a tiny single one seater chair in the corner, I absolutely wouldn't call it a sofa, if that's what he's saying he's going to sleep on - there's just no way.

It's final practice session and qualifying tomorrow - well today technically considering it's 4am, but he can't sleep on that chair at all he would wake up in complete agony. 

"Lando you can stay in the bed with me, it's your bed and you've been nice enough to let me sleep here, there's no way you can get any sleep on that little chair."

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yeah let's just get some sleep please."

I haven't brought any pyjamas which is a slight issue, assuming I was going to be spending each night with Charles I just didn't bother to pack any - I figured I wouldn't be needing them.

"Turn around please while I just change into something." I ask. I take off my bra and throw a T-shirt on, and take off my jeans before putting a clean pair of underwear on and quickly jumping into bed and under the covers - why I travelled in jeans I have no idea.

I have nothing comfortable to wear on my bottom half to sleep in and I'd never normally sleep in underwear either but I really have to if I'm sharing a bed with Lando.

"I'm done you can turn back around now."

He smiles asks again "are you sure you're ok with this?"

"Yes just get into bed and turn the lights off please." I say.

Sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from me while taking off his joggers and then his T- shirt, just in his boxers - he stands up from the bed walking towards the door to turn out the lights.

I'm tired and barely keeping my eyes open but holy shit. I couldn't close them right now. He looked so hot walking towards the door, just his back muscles and thighs - why am I laid here kind of disappointed that I didn't get to see him from the front before he turned the light off. Ok I fully need to go to sleep here because this is ridiculous. What am I thinking.

I cannot do this again.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you earlier I was just really annoyed for a moment." I say to him as we lay facing each other in bed - a large gap between us.

"It's me that should be apologising, I won't interfere again Lilly, and I'll leave you alone." He says, slowly blinking his tired green eyes as he fights sleep to keep them open.

"I... I don't know if I want you to leave me alone."

His eyes dart open a little, no longer looking tired at all - he slowly moves forward in the bed, his hand now touching my hair as he lightly rubs his thumb on my cheek.

"Do you want me to leave you alone."

I don't know what to do, I'm just looking into his eyes but my mouth isn't responding, I should say yes but I can't.

"Do you want me to leave you alone." He repeats as his hand moves from my face just lightly stroking along the side of my t shirt until I feel it on my bare skin.

He grips my thigh a little, realising I have nothing on, nothing stopping him from touching me. I get goosebumps across my whole body. What I'm doing here is so wrong, so so wrong. But I can't tell him to stop - I don't want him to stop.

His lips now almost touching mine our faces are so close together, as his hind rises up from my thigh, stroking the seam of my underwear, parting me a little as begins to stroke up and down above the lace.

"Tell me to leave you alone and I will." He almost moans.

I can't.

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Lilly, girl... 🤦‍♀️🫣