The air around me is thick with dust, kneeling on the floor of my Dads bedroom racking my brain trying to jog any memory of who this girl is as I stare at the photo, but I had no idea - I didn't know I'd ever even been to Austin.
If someone was this important to him to the point he has left property to her and named her in his will, who is she and what is she to him? Why would he have never told me about her? My mind is in overdrive trying to understand, building scenarios or any possible explanation.
"Lando I really need to go I'm sorry but I can't stay here." As comforting as it was to have him here for a moment, after seeing the photo and being in this room, all I was thinking about was how much I wanted to talk to Charles.
All I wanted was a hug from him and to tell him how sorry I am for how I've been acting lately and how badly I'd messed things up. Thinking about him sitting at home alone, angry and hurt - kills me. I should never have left.
"Do you want me to drive you anywhere?" Lando asks.
As much as I need to get to Charles apartment, the worst possible scenario would be him seeing Lando dropping me off. That would just be impossible to come back from.
"No I don't think that's a good idea, I'm sorry but I really think I need to go and try fix things with Charles. Thank you for the food and for being here with me."
"Sure, just message me if you need anything." He kisses me on the cheek and makes his way downstairs, the inside latch of the door crashing shut as he closes the front door behind him. He seemed a little angry about me saying I needed to sort things with Charles, but I don't think I'd gave him the impression that I wasn't hoping to fix things with Charles, had I?
Sitting on this cold dusty floor, being back in this house - it just takes me back to the day he turned up here when I was at my lowest.
He made everything ok again, what he did making all the arrangements for my Dad, he's always picked up the pieces when I couldn't. He's always been the strong one and he's always taken care of me.
I needed to do something to make an effort and show him how much he means to me. Grabbing a notepad and a pen, I begin to write. This is the best way I can express what I need to say to him, and I hope it makes him think back to the first night we spent together.
I call a taxi and sit outside waiting, anxiously in the dark. Questioning whether turning up back there when he's asked for space is a good idea or not. But it's too late now.
The taxi arrives just as the clouds break open and rain begins to pour on the streets of Monte Carlo, we hadn't had any rain in a few weeks now and it appears to be quickly making up for it. Part of me was thinking is this some sort of sign that things are about to go terribly wrong - I hoped not.
Time seems to have slowed down inside this taxi, it feels like I've been in here for hours but it's only been 5 minutes, I'm becoming more anxious and restless and the driver keeps making conversation with me - I must have came across as so rude for not being engaged in the conversation but I can't focus on anything else other than hoping this goes well.
We finally arrive. Shaking, feeling like I'm about to throw up with nerves, I leave the taxi and approach the front door of Charles apartment. Through the thin strip of glass running along the side of the door I notice him, with his back to me playing the piano - I can hear it distantly and it sounds so beautiful yet so sad.
I'm soaking wet. Not like that you animals. 5 minutes must have easily passed since I arrived here. I'm just watching and listening, holding the notepad tight to my chest in an attempt to keep it dry.
Making my way around the side of the property nearing the french doors at the back that directly face the piano, stopping for a moment before I get there - knowing as soon as I take a few more steps I'll be in his view.
His eyes meet mine as I stand outside in the rain by the window, a few feet away from him. I lift the notepad to the window hoping it's remained dry enough for him to read what I've written. Here goes nothing.
Please keep looking at me and read what I have to say.
I turn the page.
You have 20 points. -5 points for every time you look away from me.
His eyes soften, I can tell by how he's looking at me he instantly thinks back to the night I interrupted his stream.
I turn the page again.
You've always fixed everything, and I've broken it. But please can we fix this together.
A small half smile appearing on his face.
The next page.
I need you, you're my best friend and the only person I want to be around.
His smile growing and his face softening each time I turn the page.
- at this point the notepad is becoming completely saturated, it's raining so heavy and you can barely make out what's on the page.
I start to shake a little, Its so cold because of how wet I am at this point and as I turn to the next page I realise the ink is now just one large faded blob. Charles stands up from behind the piano, walking towards the doors and quickly swings one open to get me inside. "Come here, you are crazy." He says pulling me towards him.
"Charles I love you." I blurt out. I realise as soon as the words leave my mouth that this is the first time I'm ever speaking them aloud. I've thought it so many times, but never have I told him.
He stops dead still in front of me, and placing a hand under my chin he lifts my head so I'm tilted towards his, then kisses me.
There's something different about this kiss, it's like fire - it's as if all the years of wanting, all the lust, all the recent pain and hurt, all the confusion and the love, are a part of this kiss. A few tears roll down my face as, tears of overwhelming happiness and relief.
"I love you too, I always have."
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YOU ARE READING
DNS
FanfictionThey were drivers, they were best friends. No one was expecting lockdown to happen in 2020, and Lilly and Charles certainly weren't expecting for their story to turn out like this.
